Wish You Were Here
by not-so-dumb-blonde
Summary: Post Celebration Day. What happens when Jackie comes back from vacation and Hyde's got a girlfriend?
1. Me and Mrs Jones

  
  


The basement was cold. Cold and empty. Eric and Donna were at the Hub. Fez and Laurie felt so guilty about Red's heart attack that they were always at the mall buying him things to make him feel 'comfortable'. Kelso was off nailing his new blonde bimbo even though he promised that he would wait for Jackie. Jackie was, well, Jackie was in Aculpoco with her Mom for the summer. The only one left was Hyde. Well, Hyde and his new acquaintance. Quote. Unquote. She was not unlike Kelso's new project. She was blonde, beautiful, and stupid. Cat Peterson was everything a guy could ever want: an easy lay. 

  


" Hyde, we have to get out of this basement. The fumes are flattening my hair." she whined 

  


" What's wrong with the basement?" he asked never taking his eyes off the TV. 

  


" There's dust, mold, and I don't think it's been cleaned since 1969." 

  


" Whatever." he muttered. 

  


Zen was back. After he blurted his true feelings for Jackie and she refused them, Zen and the art of Motorcycle mania was definitely back. 

  


" That's all you ever say. Whatever, cool, and okay! I want you to talk to me!" she shouted 

  


"Cat, talking is for people who have something in common." he opined. 

  


" Let's play 20 questions. Favorite movie?" 

  


" Fine. American Graffiti." 

  


" Favorite song?" 

  


" That's The Way." he answered smugly still staring at the television. 

  


" What?" she asked. She had no idea what song that was or who sang it. Cat, personally, was a Carpenters' woman. 

  


" That's The Way. Led Zeppelin. Next Question." 

  


" Okay," she thought a minute " Second Favorite?" 

  


" Desperado." 

  


" You like the Eagles'? Cool. Lead Singer or Guitar Player?" 

  


" Guitar Player. Stevie Ray Vaughan actually," 

She gave him a confused look. 

  


" Nevermind." 

  


" Okay, Favorite piece of clothing?" 

  


" That's stupid, but if you want to know, my jean jacket." 

  


" Me too! See we do have something in common." 

  


" No, we don't. You say you like the Eagles', right?" he asked 

  


She nodded. 

  


" Well, like Life in The Fast Lane, the only thing in common that we share is that we're good in bed!" he snapped

  


" Sorry. My mistake." she responded. 

  


" Favorite Movie?" he asked 

  


She smiled " Grease." 

  


He rolled his eyes. " Favorite song?" 

  


" Tiny Dancer. Elton John." she answered confidently.

  


" I love that song." he commented. 

  


" Really?" she said excitedly 

  


" Really. Second Favorite?" 

  


" Close To You. The Carpenters', but coming in at a close third is Wish You Were Here?" 

  


" You like Floyd?" he said with a smirk. 

  


" You don't think I did research before going out with you?" 

  


" Research? Should I take that as a complement?" 

  


" Yeah, but you're not just good in bed despite contrary beliefs. No one really knows you, Hyde except maybe your friends here in the basement. You have layers. You're deep, mysterious, and a pretty, nice guy once you break down all those walls you've built up." 

  


" And who says you're just an easy, dumb blonde?" he said giving her his trademark smirk.

  


" Everyone. Immature, high-school students tend to misjudge people. They don't know me very well. They don't know crap about you either, and you know it." 

  


With that said, he pulled her in and kissed her. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


The Hub was filled with high school students who were spending the dog days of summer eating, sleeping, and partying all night. Some were graduated and looking to college to fill the void in their future. Others were graduated and work was calling their name. A chosen few were even getting married to their high school sweetheart. Namely, Eric Foreman and Donna Pinciotti. The couple were, at this moment, sitting in their booth fighting, as usual, over something Eric had no clue what he had done or said to make his fiancee so angry. 

  


" Eric, how can you be so insensitive?" she shouted punching him in the arm. 

  


" Donna! What did you do that for?" Eric yelled naively 

  


" Some things never change." said a perky brunette walking up to their table.

  


" Jackie! I though you were in the Caribbean for the summer?" asked Donna. 

  


" I was, but I missed you guys. I couldn't let you spend your last summer in Point Place without me!" she exclaimed. 

  


" We love you too, Jackie!" replied Eric wiping away a fake tear. 

  


" Shut-up. Where is everybody?" 

  


Eric and Donna glanced at each other. They both knew who she was looking for. 

  


" Don't you mean, where's Hyde?" Eric stated with a wide, smug grin. 

  


" You caught me. He's been on my mind ever since I left. I think I made a big mistake." 

  


" He's been in the basement most of the summer. Working at the hotel kept him busy, but other than that he's been totally alone. I kinda felt sorry for the scruffy, cheating bastard." Donna explained. 

  


" If I can forgive him Donna, you can. He hasn't been with anybody this summer. Has he?" 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


The two laid there wrapped up in an afghan on the couch. Their breathing was almost in unison. Hyde had been in deep thought ever since he had started dating Cat. She had been the first girl besides Jackie he had even thought about all summer. She was fun and exciting to be with. They previously had a fling junior year, but it fizzled out quickly. This time she had asked him out. He thought, Kelso is nailing every chick in the tri-county area; why can't I go out on one date? He somewhat eagerly accepted. Their one date converted into several dates, which turned into make-out sessions which grew into second-base at the drive-in which in turn they eventually fornicated at her house, in her bed, on the cot, in the Camino several times, and now the couch in the basement. This was an all-time low for him. I'm just like Kelso, he thought, only it's with one girl. 

  


" So?" he asked smirking. 

  


" What? You act like this was the first time we've slept together." 

  


" Cat, when I normally hoe a garden, I get critiqued." he dead panned.

  


She raised her eyebrows and glared at him. 

  


" Is that was I am to you? An experiment to get the Webster's Dictionary definition of great sex?" 

  


" Cat, if Daniel Webster wasn't a virgin, and he was actually trying to define great sex, our picture would definitely be in the dictionary." 

  


" Cute." she leaned in and kissed him softly.

  


" What was that for?" he asked 

  


" For being a great boyfriend." she admitted. 

  


" Thanks." 

  


" You're welcome. Just hope your friends aren't coming in to watch." 

  


" They won't." 

  


They closed their eyes and almost drifted back into slumber when footsteps tramped down the stairs. 

  


" Holy hell!" she exclaimed picking up her clothes and trying to put them on. 

  


" Steven!" called Mrs. Foreman. 

  


He quickly grabbed his clothes and donned them as fast as possible not even worrying about his muffled appearance. 

  


" You know you look pretty hot when you're scared. It's kinda sexy." she replied 

  


" Shut-up." he mouthed and motioning for her to hide. 

  


" Hey Mrs F." Hyde answered when Kitty arrived. 

  


" Where's everybody?" she asked. 

  


" Oh, here, there, and everywhere. Donna and Eric are at the Hub. Fez and Laurie are at the Mall. Kelso's probably on a date." 

  


" You're here by yourself?" 

  


" Yeah. Just me and the TV." 

  


" The television isn't on." she said incredulously

  


" It was. I turned off when I heard you coming down." 

  


" Oh really." said Kitty 

  


She looked down catching a glimpse of the sleeve of a woman's blouse laying on the floor. The rest of it seemed to be underneath the couch. He looked down following her stare. He was caught. 

  


" Where is she, Steven?" Kitty inquired. 

  


" Cat, come on out." 

  


" I can't!" she yelled from his room. 

  


" Why not?" he shouted back. 

  


" You have my shirt, and I'm sure as hell not coming out in my bra." 

  


" It's not like I haven't seen it before!" 

  


Mrs. Foreman peered at him. He looked at his bare feet to keep from meeting her glare. 

Then, Red came own to see what the disturbance was. 

  


" What's the dumbass done now?" he asked 

  


" Why don't you ask the naked girl in his room." 

  


" What?" exclaimed Red. 

  


" She's not naked! She put on underwear, and I just made your point didn't I." 

  


" If you would bring me my blouse, I might could help you plea our case!" Cat yelled 

  


" Coming." he said picking up the shirt and bringing it to his room. 

  


" What the hell is that, Kitty? I'm gonna kick his ass." 

  


In the midst of the uproar, Donna and Eric walked in the basement. 

  


" What's up, and why are you two in the basement?" asked Eric referring to his parents' 

  


" Steven has a naked girl in his room." Kitty stated. 

  


Eric and Donna looked at each other in complete shock, and Hyde and Cat, with her fully dressed, walked out of the corner room. 

  


" She's not naked anymore, Mrs Foreman." said Hyde 

  


Eric and Donna smirked at him. " Cat Peterson? Nice." said Donna. 

  


Red glared at Hyde and then at Cat and then at Kitty. 

  


" I know Red. You'll make my ass for a hat." Hyde mocked his tone. 

  


He patted Hyde on the shoulder and looked at Cat one more time. "Good Boy." he said and then returned upstairs. 

  


Hyde gave Cat another trademark smirk. She rolled her eyes. 

  


" Be careful, Steven. That's all I'm gonna say." 

  


Kitty walked up stairs quietly. 

  


" You so got off too easy!" whined Eric. 

  


" That's the breaks when you're the good son, Foreman." 

  


" You are not the good son! You're the son who does all the bad things and never gets caught!" 

" Exactly my point, Foreman." 

  


" I have to go," Cat turned to Hyde " pick me up at 8?" 

  


" Yeah." he leaned in and kissed her. 

  


She grabbed her purse from the lawn chair and waltzed out the basement door. 

  


" You're dating her!" Donna exclaimed inadvertently.

  


" Yeah. She's great." 

  


" How come we didn't get the memo?" shouted Eric. 

  


" I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. She asked me out. I said what the hell, and one date turned into a month. Sorry I didn't tell you guys." 

  


" A month! A freaking month!" Donna exclaimed. 

  


" I don't get it, Hyde. She's nothing like Jackie. She's blonde, pretty, and dumb." Eric asked 

  


" She's not dumb. You don't know her. She even got my hoe the garden joke." he stated. 

  


" That's disgusting."said Donna. 

  


" Jackie never did get that." 

  


" Speaking of," Eric began " she's back from the dead." 

  


" What? When?" Hyde exclaimed 

  


" This morning, and you better hide your little cat toy before she finds her." 

  


" Damn, and I thought they could be friends." 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

  


I've read other stories lately with Jackie having a boyfriend so I decided to twist it around a little bit. I actually like this story. Please R/R for me! Peace Out. Moi. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Sweet Emotions

  


The Holiday Hotel was incredibly busy. Crowds had come to eat at the restaurant where Steven Hyde and Michael Kelso worked. It wasn't exactly the Waldorf Astoria, but it was pleasant, the pay wasn't bad, and the open bar for the employees wasn't too bad either. 

  


" Hey Hyde," said Kelso coming into the kitchen " Leon says table six needs another bowl of potato soup." 

  


" Right," he replied reaching for the ladle " when are you off, man?" 

  


" In an hour, you?" Kelso asked. 

  


" Same. Where are you headed, the basement?"

  


" Probably. Fez owes me ten bucks. How about you?" 

  


" I have a date." Hyde said nonchalantly 

  


" No, really Hyde. What are you doing after work? Is the gang going to a movie or something?" 

  


" I told you. I. Have. A. Date." 

  


" With who? Eric." said the taller boy. 

  


" No, Dumbass. Cat Peterson." 

  


" Ugh! You're totally cheating on Jackie. She's gonna be super pissed." 

  


" We broke up, Kelso. Plus, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black?" he explained 

  


" I am not a pot or a kettle. Black just isn't my color. I'm too pretty for that." 

  


" Why do I try and reason with you?" 

  


" Because you don't know any better, Hyde." Kelso answered stupidly.

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


Eric, Donna, and Cat sat in the basement watching The Brady Bunch. Eric was trying unsuccessfully to persuade them to think that Greg and Marsha had some secret fling going on, and that this was the most incestuous show on the planet. He also tried to get them to believe that Alice lived in the refrigerator and Tiger, the dog, could actually talk.

  


" Eric, the Bradys' are a wholesome family who probably don't even understand the word incest. Plus, I happen to think that Alice lives with the butcher because after they go bowling, Sam's getting some." Cat stated 

  


Donna bursted with laughter " Yeah, and when she buys cold cuts, I doubt she's looking at a cow's meat or on a special occasion, veal chops." 

  


" It's a special occasion alright!" Cat exclaimed 

  


The girls cackled at their own jokes. Eric just rolled his eyes. 

  


" You guys nauseate me." 

  


" Why? Do you wanna be Sam, the butcher, Eric?" Donna chaffed 

  


" No, why would I be jealous of a man who cuts meat for a living? Plus, even if he is getting some all the time, Alice's beauty doesn't hold a candle to you, Donna." 

  


" Aww, that's so sweet." she kissed him on the cheek. 

  


The three went back to watching the show. After a few days, Cat had become friends with Eric and Donna. She began hanging out in the basement when Hyde was working. The couple. especially Donna, liked having her around. In one of Marsha's hair brushing scenes, none other than Jackie Burkhardt walked through the door. 

  


" Hey guys,' she turned to Cat " and you are?" 

  


" Cat Peterson. You're Jackie Burkhardt, right?" 

  


" Yeah. You were in my home economics class last semester." Jackie answered. 

  


" You're the one that burned the cake and stabbed herself with a knitting needle." 

  


" Yeah, I'm such a klutz. Have you guys seen, Steven?" 

  


" He and Kelso are working until eight, but you can hang out with us and discuss the incestuousness of the Brady's." Donna replied. 

  


" Cool. Florence Henderson and Barry what's his face really need to just kiss on the show and get it over with." 

  


Cat giggled. " Oh so true." 

  


The show ended, and Petticoat Junction soon followed. During the opening theme, the Cat got a questionable look on her face 

  


" You know, I've always wondered why these girls are taking a shower in the town's water supply, and if they're naked, then why doesn't every man on the planet hop in the well every freaking morning." Cat said. 

  


" Hyde said the same thing one time. I agree. I mean, don't these redneck people in this sleepy, little town want action too?" Eric asked 

  


" I never understood the basis of this show." Jackie commented. 

  


" Me either," Donna said and turned to Cat " We often discuss the whole idea of Samantha and Jeanie. Who's better? The witch or the jeanie?" 

  


" Jeanie. Her little bottle is so cool, and Barbara Eden is so bad-ass because she shows her navel. Plus, Major Nelson is gay." Cat informed 

  


" What?" the other three replied. 

  


" Yep, Johnny Carson said that he had officially come out of the closet." 

  


" Who's out of the closet?" asked their scruffy, rebel friend coming through the basement door.

  


" Major Nelson." Donna reported 

  


" Duh." Hyde said matter-of-factly. 

  


" Hey Baby." Cat cooed. 

  


Donna and Eric remained quiet, and Hyde suddenly felt his knees go weak. His face went white and pasty. Jackie's eyes widened and her expression was no longer friendly. 

  


" Baby?" she exclaimed. 

  


" Dum, Dum, Da-dum, Dum, da-dum, da-dum, da-dum." Eric sang with a smirk. 

  


The Death March does seem appropriate, Hyde thought. 

  


" Shut-up, Foreman." he gritting his teeth. 

  


" Is something wrong?" asked Cat naively

  


" No, why would anything be wrong?" Hyde asked with a fake smile plastered across his face. 

  


" Just curious. Anyway, I got the new Aerosmith LP, today." 

  


" Draw The Line?" he asked 

  


" Yeah, and I figured you, me, Steven Tyler, and my parents' liquor cabinet could do a lot of damage together." 

  


" Your parents?" 

  


" Milwaukee until Sunday night." 

  


His eyes lit up. " How about Katelyn?" Hyde asked referring to her sister. 

  


" She's at my Grandparents' in Chicago." Cat replied waggling her eyebrows. 

  


" God, I love you." he exclaimed 

  


Jackie scoffed and ran out of the basement. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


I know that was kinda mean, but I promise I'll redeem myself in the next chapter. Promise! I know where I'm going with this so just stay with me. Thank you to all my reviewers. You guys rock! To all you H/J shippers: just be patient. Another thing, I know Cat is in the way, but you'll just have to deal with her for a while. Just pretend you like her. For Me? Pwetty Pwease? Pwetty, Pwetty Pwease? Plus, all of you who don't understand the hoe the garden thing? Well, you're probably a virgin. Thanks again for the reviews. I need, eat, drink, and breath them. Peace Out- not-so-dumb-blonde. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. It Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference

  


"'Cause it wouldn't have made any difference if he really loved me. How could he love me?" sang Todd Rundgren on the radio. Jackie hated the sarcasm in this song. It was as if the whole song was a sarcastic joke. She laid there on the bed crying her eyes out. Michael had never hurt her this bad. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. He told her only a couple of months ago that he was in love with her, and now, he was admitting his love to another girl? He even had the nerve to say it while she was in the room! She decided she would never forgive him now. Not now. Not ever. Well, maybe. Rundgren continued to sing the sweet melodies of 'It Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference' as she cried until the tears couldn't come any more. Then, she cried some more. 

  


" Rundgren, huh? He can sure write a tearjerker, but not as could as Hank." 

  


The voice she thought she recognized, but decided it was Donna. 

  


" Leave me alone, Donna. Not in the mood." she choked with tears still streaming down her face. 

  


" Dully noted, but if I was Donna, I would say to suck it up and move on, but I'm not." 

  


She looked up to see the face of the man who broke her heart into a million pieces. 

Great, she thought, he's here to gloat. 

  


" Leave me alone, Hyde." she replied coldly looking at the duvet on her bed. 

  


" You know I came to talk to you." 

  


" Whatever." she replied 

  


Zen, he thought, this is one of those times where I wish she never walked into my life. 

  


" Don't do that, Jacks." 

  


" Don't do what? Don't act like you? Don't give one word responses? Don't look at the floor when I talk?" she asked harshly. 

  


" Don't get all bitchy on me." 

  


" Not too long ago you punched a guy in the eye for calling me a bitch." 

  


" That was when I was in love with you so it doesn't really matter anymore." 

  


" What?" 

  


The harshness in her voice left, and tears started to run freely from her ducts once more. 

" I was in love with you." he repeated. 

  


" That was on Veterans' Day. You hated me. We just went so you could get me off your back." 

  


" Maybe I lied. Maybe I wanted to go out with you, but that's beside the point, Jackie." 

  


She smiled. " No, it's not." 

  


She was still smiling and crying at the same time. It was all very bittersweet. In a moment of weakness, he walked over and kissed her. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

  


The Foreman kitchen had always been a place of traffic. It was busy all the time especially around mealtime. Red was sitting reading the paper and drinking a beer while waiting for Kitty to finish his BLT sandwich. Eric, Donna, Cat, and Kelso walked into the kitchen and immediately could smell the scent of frying bacon. 

  


" Dinner!" cried Kelso 

  


" Do you always think of food, Kelso?" asked Donna. 

  


" No, just when I can get it handed to me like at the hotel." he explained. 

  


" Mom, think we can get our hands on a few BLT's?" asked Eric.

  


" Sure, sweetheart." Kitty agreed

  


" Great, it's dumbass, tall one, stupid one, and the naked girl! Pretty soon, they'll all want to move in instead of just eating us out of house and home! The dumbasses!" Red cursed going back to his article about The Packers having an actual winning season this fall.

  


Kitty wrapped their sandwiches up in napkins. They gladly took them and walked outside to the driveway to shoot hoops. They all knew Donna and Cat would win, but played anyway. 

  


" Where did Hyde go?" asked Kelso ringing the basket. 

  


" I don't know. He said something about Jackie." Eric informed. 

  


" Yeah, he really upset her earlier, that son of a bitch." Donna exclaimed. 

  


Donna had really gotten a kick out of calling Hyde awful names lately. Anything from dumbass to bastard to SOB to anything that began with an 'F'.

  


" I'm sorry, you guys, but I'm really confused." Cat admitted.

  


" Well, you know that they dated for almost a year don't you?" Eric inquired. 

  


" That was true!" she exclaimed.

  


The three friends laughed at her naivety. Those shallow high school students had spread rumor after rumor about Hyde and Jackie, but had no clue about the real story. Eric tried to explain.

  


" Unfortunately. In the beginning, it seemed almost sacrilegious, but they really loved each other so we couldn't stop them. Then, Hyde cheated on her because he thought she was sneaking around with Kelso behind his back, Of course, she wasn't. They broke up in May. She didn't know if she would ever forgive him. So, to really piss him off she put Kelso back in the picture. She went off for the summer and told him to wait for her..." 

  


" And he didn't. That's why she got so mad earlier." 

  


" Right." 

  


" I feel like a cheap slut."

  


" Hyde really likes you though. He even said he loved you and he's never said that to anyone except Jackie." Donna pleaded

  


" Which is exactly why I think he said it." 

  


" You mean, like out of spite or something?" Kelso asked 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


"Oh how it feels so real lying here with no one near. Only you, and you can hear me when I say softly, slowly. Hold me closer tiny dancer. Count the headlights on the highway. Lay me down in sheets of linen. You've had a busy day today." sang Elton John as the two rolled around on Jackie's old bed in orgasmic pleasure. This is so wrong, Jackie kept thinking, I'm mad at him.

He moved from her lips to her neckline to her collar bone. Their tongues entangled and bodies intertwined. The passion and heat were imminent. He moved his hands up her back and attempted to unbutton her shirt. She stopped him. 

  


" What the hell was that?" he shouted. 

  


" Why can't I stay mad at you?" she countered

  


He smirked. " I don't know. Sexual chemistry? Physical attraction?" 

  


" You have a girlfriend." 

  


" I know. Which really scares me because I want to continue anyway?" 

She smiled. " I want you so bad right now." 

  


" Are we having an affair?" he asked almost giggling 

  


" To remember, baby," she leaned into his ear and whispered " make love to me." 

  


" Are you sure?" 

  


" Shut-up," she mocked

  


He pushed her on the bed and kissed her hard causing her to slightly moan. He had kissed her always like this with passion, urgency, and hard. His hard kisses were like an oxymoron. Hard but soft. They were indescribable. She missed them. 

  


" I missed you." 

  


" Me too." he answered. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


I think that was a little too steamy even for me! Just kidding. This chapter started out different, but I was listening to an old Todd Rundgren album. He, being my muse at the time, changed my mind, and you have what you see. This chapter didn't want to be written as it seems. I wrote it two times, but you know what they say, third times the charm. I was gobsmacked by my reviews. I didn't know I would get so much positive feedback with only two chapters! Speaking of, you guys wanted Jackie! Well, you got Jackie and so much more! You got a sexy reunion and conflict!! I think I gave you what you wanted. I better get major kudos for this chapter! It took a lot out of me to write it. Thanks for all of your reviews! Again, Peace Out! 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Sunday, Bloody Sunday

He looked down at his watch. It read 5:30. It was early on Sunday morning, and the sky was purple and the stars were slowly disappearing. As he rounded the block, the Foreman and Pinciotti houses were in clear view. He shifted the El Camino into neutral and slid into the driveway behind Eric's Vista Cruiser. This was the only way he could get into the house without being heard. He put his keys into his jean pockets and opened the sliding glass door so quietly you could have heard a pin drop. He had become a black belt in sneaking in and out. He walked up the stairs and into Eric's bedroom. He noticed the G.I. Joe's resting on the backboard. He rolled his eyes and wondered why Donna would ever date him or marry him for that matter. Eric, who was snoring, never heard him enter the room. He walked over to the bed and tried to wake him. 

  


" Foreman," he whispered while shaking Eric's wiry body " man, wake up. Foreman. Come on, wake up." 

  


" Donna, leave me alone. Go back to sleep." Eric replied drowsily. 

  


He chuckled " Foreman, wake up." 

  


" No, Donna. Go back to sleep." 

  


" Eric, wake up,"

  


He thought a minute

  


" Get downstairs and clean out the gutters, Dumbass!" he yelled impersonating Red. 

  


Eric immediately sprang up " Dad!" he answered with his voice cracking. 

  


Hyde smirked. 

  


" What are you doing up," he looked at his clothes " where the hell have you been?" 

  


" Don't ask." Hyde replied. 

  


" You've been smoking up at the street corners downtown again haven't you?" Eric inquired. 

  


" No, Foreman. I'm going to hell." 

  


" See you there. Seriously, where have you been all night?" 

  


" Sex is evil, man!" 

  


Eric gave him a curious look. " Hyde, old buddy, old pal, I've heard you say many crazy things in my day, but this has to be the pick of the litter."

  


" I'm serious. Sex was created by some horny, Government spawn who wanted to ruin people's lives', man. It's the ultimate conspiracy!" 

  


Eric laughed " What happened?" 

  


Hyde bowed in silence. 

  


" With whom did you sleep with?" he asked 

  


" If I said Cat, would you leave me alone?" 

  


" See, if that was the case, you wouldn't be coming into my room at a quarter 'til six in the morning whining about sex being a tool created by the Government now would you?" 

  


" Smart-ass." Hyde said dryly. 

  


Eric flipped him the bird 

  


" Twins. I win." Hyde said mimicking his action with two fingers.

  


Eric gave his best friend an icy glare "Now, are you or are you not going to tell me?" 

  


" Jackie." he muttered almost inaudibly. 

  


" Really, Hyde, I'm your best friend. You can tell me." 

  


" I just told you, Moron! Jackie!" he yelled loudly. 

  


" Shhhh. You wanna wake up Mom and Red? Did I just here you say Jackie?" 

  


" Yes." he said quietly bowing his head once again. 

  


" Are you nuts? You cheated on your girlfriend with your ex-girlfriend in which you broke up with because...um, wait a minute...You Cheated!" Eric harangued 

  


Hyde gave an obnoxious giggle " It's pretty funny once you think about it, don't you think?" 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


Jackie walked upstairs into her room that she shared with Donna. Donna was still sleeping soundly. Luckily, Bob and Joanne were on some couples mountain retreat, and she didn't have to sneak into the house. She only had to keep from waking her friend. Unfortunately, she tripped over the alarm clock cord causing it to fall from the night stand and wake Donna. 

  


" Who set the clock? It's Sunday," Donna squealed opening her eyes " Jackie, is that you?" 

  


" Yeah, it's me." the brunette replied rummaging through her dresser drawers for pajamas. 

  


Donna looked at the clock on the floor and then back at a fully, clothed Jackie. " Where the hell have you been?" 

  


" Nowhere." she answered flatly. 

  


" Uh-huh." Donna said sarcastically. 

  


" I haven't!" 

  


Jackie decided that feigning innocense would be her best option. 

  


" Why are you dressed in the exact same clothes you had on yesterday?" 

  


" I haven't slept."

  


" That's obvious. You're make-up's smeared, you're hair is tousled, you're glistening, and plus, you're in way too good of a mood from what happened last night," 

  


Donna thought a minute 

  


" You had sex!" 

  


" Donna, you know me. I'm Sandra D." 

  


The red-head huffed.

  


" Look at me I'm Sandra D. Flouncing with virginity," Jackie sang and then held up her ring finger in the air " won't go to bed 'til I'm legally wed. I won't. I'm Sandra D." 

  


" Yeah, if you're Sandy, then I must be Rizzo." 

  


" Eric is nothing like Kinicki." 

  


" Then, who's your Danny Zucco? Hyde." she said 

  


Jackie looked at her clogs trying not to meet Donna's glare. 

  


" You slept with Hyde!" 

  


All she could do was squint and nod vehemently.

*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

  


After his long conversation with Eric, Hyde walked down to his room in the basement. His watch, once again, read 7:30. He was ready to sleep. He took of his jeans and climbed into bed. He closed his eyes and attempted to go to sleep. A few minutes later, he felt a warm body crawl under the covers. He rolled over to see his blonde girlfriend smiling back at him. Great, he thought, karma has come back to bite me in the ass. 

  


" Hey, hot stuff." he replied 

  


" Hey." she climbed out of bed.

  


Hyde gave her the once over noticing she was in a dress and knee-length boots. 

  


" It's Sunday. Why on earth would you be dressed up?" 

  


" Church," Cat stated simply. 

  


His smile quickly faded to a frown. 

  


" Mrs. Foreman asked if we would go with her to church. I agreed." 

  


" Are you serious? You don't think I'm going to find religion, do you?" 

  


" No, I just thought you could do something nice for the woman who practically raised and loves you." she explained logically. 

  


" Okay, but if Pastor Dave comes near me, I'm getting the hell out of that church." 

  


" Steven, don't say hell and church in the same sentence. It's got to be a bad omen or something." 

  


" You called me Steven." he said. 

  


" Yeah, so?" 

  


" Don't." he chastened 

  


" But Jack.." 

  


He interrupted her " Just don't." 

  


" Sorry. I didn't know you were so touchy about it." 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


The drove up in the parking lot of the church to see Kitty and a bunch of others talking to the Preacher. The hopped out of the El Camino and walked over.

  


" Cat, I can't believe you convinced him to come!" Kitty exclaimed 

  


" Yeah, it's the Lord's work." Cat replied with a fake smile. 

  


The other church goers, including Kitty, seemed impressed. Hyde just rolled his eyes and glared at her. She smirked at him. 

  


" How wonderful! Well, you can go to Pastor Dave's class instead of the usual service. He holds it for teenagers." informed the old man. 

  


" Great. I'm so excited." said Hyde sarcastically. 

  


Cat glared at him. 

  


" Well, I'm so glad you want to go!" the preacher commented. 

  


" That was sarcasm." Hyde stated bluntly. 

  


" Let's go, Hyde." Cat said pushing him away and giving them a toothy grin. 

  


They walked into the main building and found their way to the large classroom. Pastor Dave and the goody, two shoes teenagers chatting while waiting for class to begin. 

  


" Oh my God. I think I'm gonna hurl." she whispered into his ear. 

  


" Can I go first?" he whispered back. 

  


" Well, now," said Pastor Dave " It's Steven, right? I haven't seen you since God's Magic Circle bake sale. Who's your friend?" 

  


" Just Hyde, and this is my girlfriend Cat.' 

  


" Well, Hyde and Cat take a seat. We're about to start our lesson." Dave announced. 

  


Hyde leaned into her ear " Shoot me, now." 

  


She chuckled and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. 

  


" Today, we're are going to hear about Paul's letter to the Galatians. They were wicked people who were worshiping other gods. The biggest problem was sexual immorality or sex out of marriage. Many men even cheated on their wives with prostitutes or harlots." 

  


Hyde sank into his seat. Karma, Karma, Karma. He felt his knees go weak. They had done that a lot lately. Even in church, Jackie was out to get him. 

  


" Is something wrong?" asked Pastor Dave 

  


" Nope. Just tired." 

  


That wasn't a lie. He was tired. Only he was tired because he got two hours of sleep because he had slept with Jackie last night. He wasn't proud of it, but it felt great! 

  


" You know that Galatians kinda sounds like a Blue Oyster Cult song ,doesn't it kids." Dave said naively. 

  


" Yeah, and 'Don't Fear The Reaper' sounds like a hymn." Cat said sarcastically. 

  


Maybe I really should fear the reaper, Hyde thought. 

  


Dave continued " Fornication and debauchery was a problem in Paul's day. I hope the rest of you don't commit these sins." 

  


" I hate church." Hyde muttered to himself. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


Hyde walked into the basement after taking Cat home. He laid down on the couch and began to stare at the cracks in the ceiling. This guilt was driving him crazy. He really liked Cat. They were great together, but there was something about Jackie. Maybe it was her dark-brown hair or her brown pools she calls eyes. Maybe it's the way she carried herself or the way she talked too much. She talked *way* too much, but the thing was he found himself listening to her analytical gossip or psycho babble about hair care products or how a skirt mad her look fat. He even listened to how she hated styling wands, never wore white after Labor Day, or wore clogs because they were so much more practical that stacks. It was driving him completely insane. He didn't even date the girl anymore, but here voice was always there. She was like his stalker. Eric was right. She is like the spawn of the devil. He heard a light tromp down the stairs. 

  


" Hi." she said cooly. 

  


" Hi." he responded.

  


" I have this tremendous amount of guilt on me right now because I feel like some cheap whore, but something inside of me wants to walk over to the couch and do ungodly things to you." Jackie replied bluntly. 

  


" And hear I thought we took care of that last night." 

  


She giggled in frustrated. " Listen here buddy! Let me just say what I came here to say. I forgive you for everything. Especially for cheating on me. I know you have a girlfriend. I've thought about it a lot, and I've come to this conclusion: Do you love me? Simple question with a yes or no answer." 

  


He smiled. " Jacks, I've thought about it too, and I do. But.." 

  


" But what?" she asked. 

  


" I don't want to hurt Cat. I don't really know what to do, but keep this in mind."

  


He got up and kissed her with every power of his being. In the midst of their kiss, Cat walked down the stairs because she had forgotten her sweater. It was her favorite sweater and decided she couldn't live a day without it. Little did she know.

  


....She saw them. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


This one came just as hard as the last one. I wanted to write a Jackie Hyde guilt chapter, but have more conflict at the same time. It was hard, but I managed to find a happy medium. I mean, what is more hilarious than Hyde getting his toes stepped on in church? Plus, we all know he hates the idea of church. I also so like Jackie giving Hyde the ultimatum. The beginning with Hyde and Jackie sneaking in was just for laughs and so I can have Eric and Donna, the best friends, find out about their secret. Next chapter: I'll give you Cat rage, nookie, stupid Kelso and Fez stuff, Red saying everyone's a dumbass, and Kitty's cute but repugnant laugh! Thanx to all of you for supporting my little story. Same Time. Same Bad Channel. Peace and Love! 

  
  
  
  
  



	5. Dazed And Confused

  


The two teenagers laid there like they were twelve years old again. The turntable was squeaking from the Zeppelin record that finished playing. They hadn't spent the day together since, they estimated, 1973. Jackie, Eric, nor Cat was too pleased when Donna and Hyde had requested to spend a day alone. She had always felt comfortable and safe with Hyde. Ever since the spring of 1969, when she had kissed him behind the jungle gym at Franklin D. Roosevelt Elementary School, she had felt safe with him. After all, it was the Summer of Love. She would never ever tell Eric that Hyde was her first kiss rather than him. She had kissed Hyde four times before she had even held hands with the scrawny, little, neighbor boy. Midge and Bob hated Hyde simply because he was being raised by Bud and Edna. They were the black sheep of the neighborhood. Plus, Hyde was a rebel punk with curly hair. He had gotten their beautiful, only daughter into so much trouble the Pinciotti's couldn't even begin to comprehend. Hyde had introduced she, Eric, and Kelso to many different things. While Eric and Kelso were trying to get their first kiss, Hyde was talking about foreplay. Not that he had ever done it! He just heard his parents and naturally told the rest of the musketeers about it. He was wise beyond his years. It was even Edna's stash that Hyde had confiscated their first batch of...well...oregano. God bless Edna! Donna loved being with Hyde. He was easy to talk to when he actually talked and was, believe it or not, a great listener. Only this time, She was the one doing all the listening. 

  


" So, you're in love with two girls. They both love you, and you can't decide between them. Am I getting this straight?" she asked laying her head on his chest once more. She let her hands rub his chest, underneath his t-shirt, down to his abdomen. She smiled. 

  


" Yes, why are you smiling?" he exclaimed. 

  


" No matter how much you eat. No matter how lazy you get. You still have this manly, hard chest with these rock-hard abs that just won't quit. Not to mention you have the arms of a Greek god. You have these t-shirts that stop in the right place showing them off. That's extremely sexy. No wonder you've got two girls fighting over you! Hell, if I wasn't engaged, I'd be right in there with them." 

  


He smirked " You know you want me, Big D." 

  


" I want you. I need you. Oh, baby. Oh, baby." she said sarcastically while lacking enthusiasm. 

  


" Fine then. Be that way, but for your information, I do fifty sit-ups, a hundred crunches, and fifty push-ups every morning." he revealed. 

  


" I knew it! I knew you couldn't get a body like yours by watching television and eating Mrs. Foreman's homemade mashed potatoes!" 

  


" You've uncovered my secret, and If you tell Foreman, he'll be a widower." he threatened. 

  


" Fine, but if you don't tell Cat about Jackie, I'll tell Eric your dirty, little secret." she countered. 

  


" That's blackmail, Donna." he shouted. 

  


" That's life." 

  


" Screw you." he answered flatly. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


" And the waitress is practicing politics as a business man slowly gets stoned. Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness. Well, it's better than drinkin' alone. Sing us a song you're the piano man. Sing us a song tonight. Well, we're all in the mood for a melody, and you've got us feelin' alright." sang Eric and Jackie karaoke style. 

  


After Donna and Hyde decided to spend the day together, they only thought it was appropriate to spend the day with one another as well. They had gone to see a movie, eaten lunch, and now, were at a piano bar in Kenosha. They had argued for almost twenty minutes on what song to sing. Eric had wanted to sing 'Get Back', a classic Beatles' tune, while Jackie wanted to sing 'Don't Go Breaking My Heart', a duet between Elton John and Kiki Dee. Then, they thought it was only natural to sing a song about a piano bar at a piano bar. So, they chose 'Piano Man' by Billy Joel. They thought it was miraculous that they had a good time today and agreed on almost everything. It was like the apocalypse. The audience applauded their efforts on singing a song that changed octives eight times as they sat down. 

  


" Eric." 

  


" Jackie." he mocked her tone. 

  


" Thanks for today." 

  


" You're welcome."

  


" I know you've just been bursting to ask this question all day so ask. You start and then say 'never mind'. Just ask." 

  


" Did you sleep with Hyde?" he inquired brusquely. 

  


Her eyes widened and she looked like a deer caught in headlights. I'm gonna kill Steven or Donna one, she thought. 

  


" Did Steven tell you?" 

  


" Yeah. So, it's the truth?

  


" He's your best friend. Do you think he lied to you?" 

  


" No. It's just Hyde has never been one to kiss and tell." 

  


" Has he told Cat, yet?" 

  


" I don't know, but if I know Donna, and I do, She's probably black mailing him into telling her as we speak." 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

  


" And remember the time when Eric wrote that stuff about you on the bathroom wall. 'Call Hot Donna for a good time. 542-5027.'It was hilarious!" Hyde reminisced. 

  


" Yeah and then Kelso called! He had no idea it was me. He just wanted a good time!" 

  


" I almost called myself." he admitted. 

  


She lightly smacked his chest. They laughed. Then, Cat marched in as if she was ready to kill. She was like Charles Manson looking for her next victim. Cat was on the prowl. 

  


" Slow down, Helter Skelter before you kill somebody." Donna exclaimed. 

  


" Babes, what's up?" Hyde asked. 

  


" I can't believe you have the nerve to ask me that you lying, cheating bastard!" Cat shouted. 

  


" Calm down. It's just Donna." 

  


" Donna my ass! I was talking about Jackie!" Cat yelled. 

  


" Nothing happened." he lied. 

  


" Whatever. I saw you kiss her." 

  


He leaned up and got up off the bed. He felt his knees start to tremble and go weak. Is this starting to become a trend, he thought. He didn't know what to do, or what to tell her. The guilt he was feeling had become too much to bear. After eighteen years of experience, he had never said the right thing at the right time. It was just a personality flair. He couldn't help this, but he, out of the blue, knew exactly what to say. It might not be the truth, but anything is better than the truth, he thought. 

  


" Yeah, I kissed her, but the thing is that I needed to. Our relationship ended so messy. Most relationships end with 'I hate you' or 'I never want to see you again', but ours ended with saying 'I love you'. Yeah, I love her. A small part of me always will because she was my first love. We had so many vent up feelings that we had hoarded up all summer. We needed to release some of those feelings, and I think kissing her was the only way to express them. I'm sorry I hurt you when I kissed her, but it was the only way. Five percent of me will always love her, but the other ninety-five percent is totally and completely in love with you." 

  


Where the hell did that come from, he thought. Donna's eyes broadened. She couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. That was the most un-Hyde thing he could ever say. Actually, she thought, it sounded a lot like something Jackie would say. It figures. 

  


" So, all you did was kiss her for that reason?" 

  


" Yes." he replied. 

  


" And you didn't sleep with her." 

  


he gulped " No. Do you forgive me?" 

  


He opened up his arms in preparation to envelope her in them. 

  


" I suppose so." she said in pursuit of his arms. 

  


He cupped her cheeks and kissed her softly on the mouth. He was hesitant at first. Cat opened her mouth and attempted to grope him, but he refused. 

  


" I hate to say that was cold, but if you opened your mouth, the little light might come on." she quipped.

  


" Sorry. I'll see you later. I'll pick you up for dinner. Say around 8'?" 

  


" Perfect. I love you." Cat replied. 

  


" Ditto," he answered as she left Donna's room. 

  


Donna just sat there shaking her head and smirking at him. I never knew he was such a good liar, she thought. 

  


" I feel so bad right now." he stated 

  


" I think I can do something about that, old buddy," 

  


She then slid off her bed and kneeled on the ground. She grabbed a full bottle of scotch from under her bed. Then, she went to her dresser. Rummaging through her sock drawer, she pulled out a turquoise-colored caboodle. Inside it she kept her private stash. She tossed the bottle of scotch and brown, paper bag to her friend sitting on the bed. She sat down next to him, reached across to her night stand drawer, and pulled out an ashtray. Hyde just smirked. 

  


" Did I mention that Dad and Joanne were still in the mountains?" 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


" Been dazed and confused for so long it's not true. One little woman never bargained for you. Lots of people talkin'. Few of them know. The soul of a woman was created below." moaned Robert Plant. His shrilling voice and Jimmy Page's melodic, guitar riffs filled Eric Foreman's Vista Cruiser. After arguing, again, over the music, Eric's pick of Zeppelin's 'Dazed and Confused' won over Jackie's pick of Steven Still's 'Love The One You're With'. They were driving home from Kenosha. Eric, who had sobered up, still had to deal with a still slightly tipsy Jackie. 

  


" Eric, you are so cute," she giggled " if I wasn't in love with Steven, I would go down on you right now." 

  


He rolled his eyes. " You're still drunk." 

  


" What does that matter? One-night-stands are the finest form of flattery." Jackie spouted. 

  


" Yeah, and 'The Brady Bunch Variety Hour' is the greatest hour on television." 

  


" The Knack were on there the other night. They sang 'My Sharona'. Steven predicted that that song was going to single-handedly destroy disco. Destroying disco? That's like saying Michael Jackson, you know the cute, young one of the Jackson 5? That's like saying he'll be one of the biggest stars of the eighties! Puh-lease,"

  


Eric rolled his yes and turned to the road once more. 

  


" oooh," she squealed with delight " ABC, it's easy as 123. How easy is Do-Re-Me? ABC? 123? Baby, you and me girl! Oooh and Oh baby, give me one more chance now! Won't you let me back in your heart!" 

  


" Jackie, if you wanted to sing Jackson 5 Karaoke, you could have done it back at the bar." 

  


She flipped to another radio station. Unfortunately for Eric, it was playing Carly Simon's 'You're So Vain'. Jackie started to sing, again. 

  


" You walked into the party like you were walking unto a yacht. You're hands strategically dipped below one eye. Your scarf; it was apricot. You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself go by. And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner. They'd be your partner. And you're so vain. You probably think this song is about you. You're so vain. I betcha think think this song is about you. Don't you? Don't you?" she sang with her speech slurring of alcohol. 

  


Eric tried to swipe the stench away when she opened her mouth. She was definitely reeking of liquor. " Oooookay!" 

  


" You know Eric, I think I'm gonna tell Cat about me and Steven because I feel so guilty, and not just about having sex. But I'm having sex with a guy who's been having sex with another woman! I don't know if I'm the slut or the girlfriend?" 

  


" Where the hell did that come from?" Eric asked her. 

  


" The music makers. Zeppelin, the Jackson Bros., Carly and her horse teeth! She should really get them fixed. The music told me, man!" 

  


" Uh, you're really drunk and are starting to sound like Hyde which is scaring me. By the way, you're the girlfriend." 

  


" Thanks Eric. That was like the sweetest thing you've ever said to me!"

  


" You're welcome.

  


" We should go shopping tomorrow." 

  


" Ain't nothing getting between you and your Calvin's is it?" 

  


" Nope." 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

  


The two sat on the bed joking and talking with each other. Both being drunk and high as kites, would probably not remember anything that was said. The Doors' 'Light My Fire' was the mood music so they were talking about the three- letter word. 

  


" Weirdest place?" Donna asked 

  


" Pam Macy. Last year at the prom. Jackie's Dad's Lincoln Continental." 

  


" Ewww! Weirdest person?" 

  


" Chrissy. The punk chick? She took sex as being this huge protest. It was awesome! You?" 

  


" Eric," she answered dryly. 

  


They both busted out laughing. 

  


" while we're on this subject, when are you going to tell Cat about Jackie?" 

  


Without knowing them knowing it, the clock had struck eight. Cat wandered up to Donna's bedroom where the two friends had been before. She was ready for the date Hyde had promised her. She leaned against the doorframe. She inhaled the deep scents of alcohol and marijuana. She rolled her eyes at the sight. 

  


" I don't know," Hyde answered Donna while scratching his head " I guess I'll tell Cat I slept with Jackie..oh maybe..1986!" 

  


Cat ran out of the room for the second time. Screw forgiveness, she thought angrily while tromping down the stairs.

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


I'm sorry it took sooo long to get this one written. I had a slight case of writer's block. Although Zeppelin's 'Dazed and Confused' pushed me along. It gave me the idea to have Hyde blurt out his little encounter with Jackie while high of course. I know I promised you a few more things this chapter, but I couldn't fit them in. I promise them to be fit in next chapter which I should get out much faster than this one. You guys are all the coolest! Peace Out-moi! 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	6. Cat Scratch Fever

  


Eric and Jackie had returned from their outing in Kenosha and were sitting in the basement with Kelso and Fez watching Charlie's Angels. Well, Eric, Fez, and Kelso were watching parts of the Charlie's Angels. 

  


" Good Morning, Charlie." said Farrah Fawcett and her Angel pals. 

  


" Good Morning to you too, Farrah." said Fez. 

  


" Fez, when are you going to realize that the Angels are just on TV and are not sitting in the basement? You're getting drool all over the couch." Eric whined. 

  


" I know that you son of a bitch! I just want to know how Farrah gets her hair so perfect." 

  


" Hot oil and lemon juice treatments." replied Kelso. 

  


" You're worse than Eric, Michael! What have you been doing all summer? Reading Tiger Beat!" Jackie exclaimed. 

  


" Maybe. I did it so you could think better of me when you came home from Acapulco." Kelso explained 

  


" You thought I wouldn't think of you as cheating scum when you were nailing every cheap blonde in the state of Wisconsin at the same time no less!" Jackie shouted. 

  


" BURN!" yelled Eric. 

  


Jackie smirked and joined in with Fez and Eric's laughter. 

  


" Well, Damn Jackie! You didn't expect me to be dateless all summer did you?" 

  


" Of course not Michael. How could I be so stupid?" she stated sarcastically. 

  


" Thank You!" he yelled. 

  


She rolled her eyes and fixated her eyes on the television. The Angels in white bikinis, she thought, what a surprise! Just as the room got quiet once again, Cat, who had done her share of marching in and out, stomped into the basement again. These people were driving her crazy! She needed to go back to Pam Macy, the cheerleaders, and the third floor bathroom. 

  


" What are you angry about this time?" asked Eric never taking his eyes of Jacklyn Smith in stilettoes. 

  


" This little blabber mouth, skanky bitch slept with my boyfriend!" 

  


" WHAT!" yelled Kelso glaring at his ex-girlfriend. 

  


Eric slid into the lawn chair sheepishly, looked at Jackie, and giggled uncomfortably.

  


" I did not!" she lied. 

  


" Whatever! I went to Donna's. Hyde might have been drunk and high as a kite, but he said it!" 

  


" Hyde's gonna kill you for ruining his buzz." Fez told her. 

  


" I didn't talk to him you moron! I was, but he said that and I ran." Cat explained. 

  


" Did you happen to examine the fact that he was high and drunk? Steven can say anything when he's like that. Once he told me that Nixon had died and his ghost was coming to get him." Jackie reasoned. 

  


" Well, he did say something along the lines of 'I'm never telling Cat about sleeping with Jackie'. So, I think I have a pretty good chance of catching you in a lie!" 

  


Jackie swallowed. Keep cool, Burkhardt, she told herself, make like Nixon and Deny, Deny, Deny. Eric covered his eyes with his right hand and shook his head. He never could keep a secret. Kelso and Fez were still mad at the fact that Jackie was sleeping with someone else besides the two of them. 

  


" Cat, you've got some kinda balls to come to our territory and call me a bitch and a liar! I could kick your ass in a heartbeat. Ask Eric's sister, Laurie." Jackie exclaimed smugly. 

  


Eric, Kelso, and Fez laughed and remembered the sight of Jackie pulling kung fu on Laurie. 

  


" Your territory. Now I really see where we stand. You guys don't like me!" 

  


" Yes we do!" the three guys shouted in unison.

  


" Shut-up!" Cat and Jackie exclaimed at the same time. 

  


" Cat fight! No pun intended, of course." Eric replied snarkily. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


Kitty was busy making a late-night snack while Red was sitting at the kitchen table drinking an Orange Crush and reading the latest scandal between Andrew Johnson and his Congress spawns in Time Magazine. He had to trade out his Budweiser for soda because Kitty and the Cardiologist had mapped out a strict, 'heart conscious' diet for him to follow. Last week, he had even hit Eric and the basement gang up for beer. He had walked down to the basement, covered up his eyes with his right hand, and said, " I don't know where it is, but I know you have it! Four out of Five teenagers hide beer from their parents! Just give me the beer now and no one gets hurt!" Hyde was, of course, the one to be man enough to give it to him. They didn't even get in trouble! Donna and Jackie suggested that it was the pain killers that caused him to be so 'nice'. Fez simply suggested multiple personalities. 

  


" Kitty," Red called " how soon are those cupcakes going to be done! This artificial sweetener and cocoa better be good!" 

  


" It will I promise. Dr. Lewis gave me the recipe at the hospital. He says that Dr. Atkins is a genius." she encouraged. 

  


" I just heard he was a quack! People say he's gonna cause people to die an early death! Whoever heard of a diet where you could eat all the red meat you want! Sounds like he was a butcher in a previous life to me."

  


" Oh, Red!" Kitty exclaimed and gave him her annoying, little laugh. 

  


While Kitty and Red were chatting, Donna and Hyde stumbled into the Foreman house. 

  


" Hey kids!" Kitty replied, spreading icing on her cupcakes. 

  


" Hey Mrs. F." said Hyde. 

  


" Where have you two been all day? We were all kinda worried." 

  


" Oh, just different places. You didn't have to be worried, Mrs. Foreman." Donna stated. 

  


" You aren't drunk are you?" asked Red. The man was like a bloodhound these days. He could smell beer, hard liquor, and fear a mile away. 

  


" Of course not Mr. Foreman! I've never even tried it! Always wanted to try it though!" Donna said innocently. 

  


" Smart-ass." said Red dryly. 

  


Hyde and Donna just laughed. 

  


" Thanks for the chat, Red," Hyde said. " I've gotta go burn Eric for being such a pansy-ass for worrying about us." 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


Eric, Kelso, and Fez were, once again, watching television. It was some geeky, made-for-TV movie about the Judy Garland story. If only we could be somewhere over the rainbow, thought Eric. Jackie and Cat were standing behind the couch arguing. The guys had a poll on who would kick who's ass, first.. Eric and Kelso both had twenty bucks riding Jackie while Fez, on the other hand, had fifteen riding on Cat. He argued that blonde women in thigh-high boots kick serious ass! Before they knew it, Hyde and Donna stumbled down the basement staircase. Donna, who was always perceptive, caught onto the screaming and hair-pulling coming from the pint-sized pixies. 

  


" What the hell?" she exclaimed. 

  


" Any of you want to take a piece of the pot? I've got twenty on Jackie." Kelso asked. 

  


" You've got a poll going?!" Hyde exclaimed. 

  


" Yep. Who knew they would be fighting over you?" Eric told his best friend. 

  


Hyde took off his infamous, rose-tinted sunglasses and clipped them on his shirt. One of the lightbulbs had broken, and Red, still being lazy from his heart attack, hadn't come down to change it. So, the basement was pretty dark and he could barely see the chick wrestling that was going on before him. 

  


" All we need is water and dirt, and we've got ourselves a regular porn flick! Mud wrestling cheerleaders!" Kelso said dreamily. 

  


Hyde punched him in the arm. 

  


" Damn Hyde," said Kelso rubbing his forearm " you gotta stop doing that!" 

  


" This should be put on 'The Gong Show'," said Fez, laughing " The Amazing, female, midget wrestlers! Mud not included." 

  


" I'm seeing nothing funny about this." Hyde said sternly. 

  


" What did you have to do to get Hyde to sleep with you, huh? Pay him! You probably earned your money from working at Skank World. The happiest place on earth!" Cat dead panned, going for her stomach and trying to flip her over. 

  


" Me? At least I'm not from Slutsville, U.S.A!" Jackie shouted, countering her move. 

  


" Cat," Hyde yelled. 

  


The girls' stopped passing licks at each other. 

  


" I, once and for all, did not sleep with Jackie! When we were dating, sure, but not recently. You have to believe that. Whatever I said, I'm sure it was something that happened a long time ago, and I got it confused with something else. I was plastered, okay! We both were. I coulda been talking about Foreman for all I know!" 

  


" You promise me you'll stay away from each other so I won't get any suspicions?" Cat pleaded. 

  


" I promise." He answered, kissing her on the head. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


" We've gotta stop doing this!" Hyde exclaimed, rolling over in the bed and looking at Jackie. 

  


She lazily propped up on one elbow. " I know. I feel like a whore! Yesterday, when I spent the day with Eric, I told him, well at least he said I did because I was drunk," 

  


Hyde interrupted her and laughed 

  


" .... I didn't know whether or not I was the slut or the girlfriend. Which am I?" she finished. 

  


" Remember that I...uh...I..uh. Well, you know, and you'll be my girlfriend whether in secret or for the world to see." 

  


" Thank You, and I love you too." she grinned, pulling him over to her. He had no complaints. 

  


" You do realize that it's six O'clock in the morning?" he replied, smirking. 

  


" Yes, but we don't get to do this often. And when we do have the opportunity, I wanna make the most out of it." 

  


She kissed him so hard she almost melted. 

  


" What? No banners or candles?" he asked. 

  


" Shut the hell up, Steven." she said dryly. 

  


" Yes, ma'am." 

  


They captured each other's lips once more.

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


See? I told you I wasn't deserting our favorite couple! By the way, those of you who thought I dropped a bomb on you with the whole D/H stuff, THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS! I swear to you they are not together, and if Marcy Carsey and Tom Werner ever get this crazy idea to put them together, I will stop watching the show all together! Thank you for reviewing! Thanks especially to all my old faithfuls who have been here since chapter one! I would list you, but I would be afraid that I would leave someone out. You know who you are! Thanx for never giving up on me! Always remember to R/R, and as always----- Peace Out! 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. Life In The Fastlane

  


Before you could even say 'detention', School buses were running, teenagers were disturbing the peace by blaring loud music from their vehicles, and the leaves were beginning to change color. Point Place High had begun a new school year. Fall had a crispness in the air that made you want to buy a bouquet of freshly sharpened #2 pencils instead of roses or daisies. The Vikings had been running plays all summer preparing for their rival game. The cheerleaders had also been practicing their stunts, cheers, and tumbles to be absolute perfection in time for the Big Game. Unfortunately, Hyde, PPH's ex-con, was en route of the school in order to drop one of his girlfriends off on the first day. Namely, Cat. 

  


" I'll miss you." she told him, opening the door to the El Camino. 

  


" I'll miss you more." he lied. 

  


She leaned in and brushed his lips softly with hers. She climbed out and shut the door. 

  


" See you in the basement this afternoon?" she asked. 

  


" Of course." he said, starting up the engine and driving off. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


The long-haired teenagers flocked the hallway. It was crowded and noisy. Jackie, wearing her new, Jordache outfit and looking like a million bucks, walked to her locker. It was finally her senior year. She was captain of the cheer squad, President of the Prom decoration's committee, and a shoe in for Snow Queen. Her classes were ridiculously easy. How hard could Music Appreciation and Psychology be? Guys were checking her out left and right. Only one thing was missing: Her true friends. 

  


" Hey Jackie," called Jordan Brown, running back of the football team " looking good this year. Do you have a date for the Homecoming Dance?" 

  


" Actually, I do, Jordan. I'm sorry." she turned him down. Nicely, of course. She did have a reputation to uphold. 

  


" Oh. I know all your friends from Foreman's basement graduated, but you don't have to isolate yourself from everyone else. I'd really like to go to the dance with you." 

  


" And I really have a date. Sorry, Jordan. You should have tried earlier." 

  


The bell rang and she walked to her first class: Study Hall. Why would these people schedule a study hall first, Jackie thought. She sat down and opened her notebook. She decided she would doodle. Mr. And Mrs. Steven Hyde. Mrs. Steven Hyde. Mrs. Jackie Burkhardt Hyde. Steven and Jackie Hyde. XOXO. Hearts. Flowers. JB + SH. Even this is getting boring, she thought. Once she filled up a sheet of notebook paper, she turned the page. Then, she heard the intercom come on. 

  


" Miss Jackie Burkhardt has a phone call in the office. Something about her grandmother." called the secretary. 

  


Jackie thought to herself. Both of my grandmothers are dead. One died with a stroke and the other with Emphysema. Something's up. 

  


" You heard the intercom, Miss Burkhardt. Scoot." called her seventy-five year old teacher. 

  


" Yes, ma'am." 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


The Five friends gathered around the phone in the Foreman kitchen. Hyde, with phone in hand, was talking to the secretary in a phony accent. He was Jackie's 'cousin' who was telling her about the tragic death of her grandmother. It was Cancer. She had, according to Hyde, been sick for a very long time. Though, the doctor had given her two more months. Her death was sudden. Jackie, who was in the school's office, answered. 

  


" Hello?" 

  


" Jacks?" Hyde said. 

  


" Steven?" Jackie asked with a mismated look on her face. The secretary looked at her with a funny glare. Jackie just mouthed 'cousin'. 

  


" Yeah, it's me. Listen, pretend I'm telling you your grandmother died. Now, cry with all your hearts content, but listen. We're going to Kenosha to see 'Jaws'. We'll pick you up." 

  


Jackie continued to cry big, crocodile tears. " Tell cousin Donna to get my sunglasses. I don't want to go with my make-up smeared." she blubbered

  


Hyde just looked at his friends and smirked. 

  


" Okay, but go back to your classroom. Make a big deal about the death, and say you'll be back to class on Monday." 

  


" Okay, I'll meet you outside in ten minutes. Look for me." she replied with tears, literally, streaming down her face. Jackie was a natural. 

  


" 10/4, good buddy." 

  


" Don't try and make jokes at a time like this. You're not Burt Reynolds." Jackie said still trying to prove her grandmother was in fact dead. 

  


Hyde rolled his eyes. " Do you want out of that hell hole or not?" 

  


" Yes, thank you for calling Steven. I love my family members dearly. You know that." 

  


" I love cake." he said, jokingly Jackie tried to keep from grinning. Luckily, the secretary, Ms. Peterson, didn't notice. 

  


" Bye." she answered, to what the secretary thought, sadly. 

  


Now, she was all out bawling. She wanted the secretary to feel sorry for her. She put her head in her hands and cried some more. Angie Peterson walked over to her and embraced her in a hug. She smells like she's the one that needs to be in a coffin, Jackie thought. 

  


" I'm so sorry about your grandmother." the woman replied apologetically. 

  


" I'll be fine. They said she died peacefully. It wasn't as if she died of a shark attack or anything." 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


" Get out of the water!" yelled the lifeguard. 

  


The hungry, man-eater had gotten the little boy. The water was murky with blood. People began to run from the beach in frantic chaos. The shark had gotten its second victim. 

  


" Oh my God!" Jackie shrieked, putting her face into Hyde's chest. Donna had done the same with Eric. Fez tried this move with Kelso. He was unsuccessful. 

  


" Get off me, man." Kelso whispered loudly, shaking him off. 

  


" I was scared!" Fez yelled. 

  


" Don't be a pansy!" he exclaimed, grabbing a handful of popcorn. 

  


The six friends finally were back to normal. No fighting ( almost), No problems ( for the afternoon), and especially, no Cat. It's not like they didn't like her. She just complicated things. That was what they liked most about their friendship. It wasn't complicated. No matter what happened the six would always come running back to the basement and to each other. Not that they would admit it to anyone, but they loved each other. It was corny. They knew it, but what's a dislodged emotion here and there to give to your closest friends? 

  


" Jordan Almond?" offered Fez. 

  


" No, thanks. Fez, you've had what? Fifteen boxes of candy! Gummy Bears, Snow Caps, Licorice Sticks, Chocolate-covered Peanuts, and now, Jordan Almonds!" Donna exclaimed. 

  


" I hope you hurl all in Foreman's car." Hyde replied. 

  


" Steven, no! I'm wearing my new Dr. Scholle's." Jackie answered. 

  


" Be quiet. We're trying to watch the movie." Eric ordered. 

  


" Yeah, you guys!" Kelso stated. 

  


" Shut-up, Kelso!" the five yelled and threw popcorn in his direction. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


" Shut-up!" said Victoria Watson, the queen of the Vikings, talking to Cat in the third floor bathroom. 

  


" I'm serious. Her grandmother didn't die! She went to the movies with my boyfriend and his mutant friends!" 

  


" I thought you liked Foreman, Pinciotti, and the rest of those idiots." 

  


" I did until he started cheating on me with little Miss 'Can't Be Wrong'." 

  


" Are you sure?" 

  


" He swears up and down he isn't, but something's up. I know it is." 

  


" How did you know she went to the movies?" 

  


" I was going to make copies for Mrs.Myers in the office, and I walked through the quad because it was the quickest way. First, she was crying hard and the next thing I know, They pull up in the Vista Cruiser, she immediately perks up, Smiles, and hops in the car. They turn up the radio and I heard Eric yell, 'Operation 'Get Jackie To The Movies': complete'!" 

  


" I warned you about him, Cat. I knew he was a dog. You know what they say." 

  


" What?" 

  


" Thunder only happens when it's raining, and players only love you when they're playing." 

  


" Oh so true." 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


" That is true." Fez agreed. 

  


" What's true?" asked Hyde, eating a french fry. 

  


After the movie, they went to eat at the new McDonald's in Kenosha. They had just opened it, and wanted to see what all the hype was about this burger called a Big Mac. It supposedly had special sauce, but it couldn't be any different from any other hamburger. Fez was excited about apple pies, and Kelso wanted the toy inside the happy meal. 

  


" That you need to break up with Cat." Eric told him, after taking a sip of his Coke. 

  


" Foreman, I'm a sensitive guy. I don't want to hurt her." 

  


Donna put her hand on his head " Are you sick? Do you have a fever?" she quipped. 

  


" Man, I still don't like you dating Jackie, but you've got Cat too! You can't take all the chicks, Hyde. That's my job." Kelso informed. 

  


" You can't have Laurie." Fez reminded him. 

  


" I want to know how Jackie feels about you with another girl." Donna replied.

  


" See. I'm special. I'm the girlfriend, and she gets to be the slut. I get all the loving. So, he can take all the time in the world if he so pleases." Jackie stated. 

  


" Thank you, baby." Hyde commended, pecking her on the lips. 

  


" Don't mention it." 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


Kitty, Red, Bob, and Joanne sat around the kitchen table playing a game of Bridge and eating a batch of Kitty's famous cheese puffs. Joanne and Bob were, of course, winning because she wins everything. Red was, needless to say, pissed, and Kitty kept giving him the evil eye. He didn't need to get angry because it raised his blood pressure. Kitty sitting with her Peach Schnapps and Bob and Joanne with their beer made him extra angry. He still couldn't have beer. In the middle of Bob laying down a sucky hand, the doorbell rang. It obviously wasn't Eric and the gang because they never knocked. Now, who on earth could that be, Kitty thought. 

  


" I'll get it," Kitty replied. 

  


She, with her perfect poise, opened the door with a toothy, white smile. Although, this beautiful grin turned to a frown automatically at the sight of Bud and Edna Hyde standing in the doorframe. 

  


" Oh my." Kitty exclaimed before giving them her uncomfortable, unique laugh. 

  


" Kitty! Nice to see you, ol' gal. Where's Red?" Bud asked enthusiastically. 

  


All she could do was point in the direction of the kitchen. Bud gingerly walked in that direction with Edna, who had stayed quiet, in pursuit of his heels, followed. 

  


" Dammit Bob! We're playing Bridge not Gin!" Red exclaimed.

  


Bud, Edna, and Kitty walked into the kitchen. Red and Bob just gasped at the sight. Joanne had never met the Hyde's, but she had a funny feeling in the pit of her stomach that it was them who stood before her. Before Red could say anything, he turned to hear the sound of the Vista Cruiser pulling into the driveway and the six friends get out. 

  


" I'm never going to the beach again!" Donna exclaimed. 

  


" Me either, but how am I going to get my perfect tan?" Jackie concurred. 

  


" It was just a movie, Donna. It's nothing to ruin your future beach trips over." Eric rationalized. 

  


" I don't know, man," Kelso shuttered, rubbing the chills on his arm " those teeth and that music! It was damn scary if you asked me!" 

  


" I agree with Foreman. You guys are all a bunch of pansies!" Hyde shouted. 

  


" But it was bloody and gruesome, and it was a shark, man!" Fez cried.

  


" Steven, you just have no heart." Jackie informed. 

  


" I resent that! I have a heart. I just don't show it very often. Plus, this wasn't 'Love Story', Jackie. It was 'Jaws'!" 

  


" People died, and you laughed! Especially at the beginning with that girl!" 

  


" Don't get your panties all in a twist! I have plenty of heart, and you have proof of that." 

  


" Prove it!" the brunette pointed her finger in his face. 

  


" Last night." he said smugly with a big smirk. 

  


" Shutting up." she muttered dryly.

  


The gang just eyed them and shook their heads. Donna just whispered to Eric how perfect those two were for each other and she wished she had realized it earlier. They walked toward the house and entered the sliding, glass door. 

  


" Hey mom, dad, Bob, Joanne, Bud, Edna." said Eric nonchalantly. He then realized the words that had just come out of his mouth. He did a sharp right turn and faced them. His eyes widened and the other five followed this movement as well. 

  


" Son of a bitch." That was all Hyde could muster. 

  


" Steven, watch your mouth." corrected Kitty. 

  


" Dude, that's your parents!" Kelso exclaimed. 

  


" I know that you moron!" he shouted harshly. 

  


" Hyde," Donna patted him on the shoulder " I'm so sorry." 

  


" Yeah, man." Eric agreed. 

  


" Oh, Steven." Jackie solaced and gripped his hand tightly. 

  


" Why's everybody so down and out?" asked an oddly cheerful Bud. 

  


" I guess they feel bad for me because my sorry-ass parents are back in town trying to 'fix' everything. Well, not gonna work this time, Dad. I don't have the time or patience for it! You're just gonna leave again. Well, this time, I'm gonna leave on you. Let's go, guys." he shouted. He then let go of Jackie's hand and let the door swing behind him. 

  


" That went well." Kitty finally said. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


I know, I know. More horrible things happening to complicate Hyde's life. It'll all work out for the best. I promise. I also promise that I actually do have a point for the whole Bud and Edna coming back. Believe me! I also decided to limit the Cat appearances in this chapter. She'll be back though. Mwa-ha-ha-ha *Evil Laughs* ! Thanks to all of you who reviewed. Special thanks to PixiePunk who's been like the coolest. Also, Spikelover666- if you don't like my story, don't read it! I hope I made myself clear. Again, to my reviewers, I like my references too! I would call myself a Yuppie! By the way, anybody besides me watching I Love The '70s on VH1? Just wondering. Kudos again. Please r/r! Peace Out! 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	8. Waiting For The Man

  


He was angry. He was seriously angry. Hyde had never been this angry to his knowledge. His life was seriously sucking. His relationship with Cat had been going great. They had some things in common, and then, from out of nowhere, Jackie had to show up and turn his world upside down. Not that he'd minded. He was in love with her. He had admitted that to himself long ago. It was just that he wasn't ready to admit it to her. Now, to screw his life up even more so, his 'loving' parents, Bud and Edna, were back in Point Place in order to make him feel even more like a complete sell out. Why did he care? Why after all these years did he still care? It was driving him crazy. He had to get out. He was on his way to meet Taylor, Leo's friend who had been hooking him up ever since Leo left to reclaim his wife and kids. What's a better way to get rid of your problems than with a good, old-fashioned toke? 

  


He graciously thanked the trafficker for his purchase. Seventy-five was steep, but it would last him and the gang awhile. They had always depended on him for the stash. Of course, who could blame them? He was the only won who could buy it without getting caught. Knock on wood. Hyde didn't even realize the meaning of this faux paus until it came true. The cops had caught him. This was his second offense for possession! Red was going to burn him at the stake. If he ever got out on bail, that is. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


The five friends sat in the basement in the sacred circle. They realized they had not had a good smoke in a good while. So, they opted to forget about the display upstairs by lighting up. It was always a good way to mask the real world. They just put on an LP, smelled the incense, and drifted into their own world. They had always had good memories in the basement. It was just too bad they could remember few of them. 

  


" I really could care less about Bud and Edna being upstairs. I mean, Hyde deals with things in his own way. We shouldn't stop him. If he wants to go out and get drunk, let him go out and get drunk. Hell, if I didn't know he needed to be alone, I'd go with him!" Eric exclaimed. 

  


" Amen. I think we just need to back off. Hyde is and will always be Hyde. Let him deal without our pestering him. No matter what we do, Hyde will eventually do it his own way. That's just who he is." Donna concurred. 

  


" I mean, Hyde's my friend and I don't want to see him get hurt, killed, or something or other. It just doesn't seem right for us to just sit back and let him handle it." Kelso said, for the first time in his life, logically. 

  


" Steven is a big boy, Michael. He can deal with his problems without us. If we were Batman and Robin, Superman, or Wonder Woman at the Hall of Justice, it would be different. We aren't super heroes. So, Steven can rescue himself." Jackie replied. 

  


" Oh, I love that cartoon! It is just so funny. I wish I had the power to turn into water like the Wonder Twins!" Fez exclaimed 

Fez looks out into the ceiling and begins to fantasize what they would be like as super heroes rescuing their friend. 

  


" Fez," exclaimed Donna and Eric walking into the hall dressed in purple matching outfits " we're the Wonder Twins!" 

  


" I'm Wonder Woman!" Jackie squealed, holding up her silver bracelets trying to practice for fighting off evil. 

  


" We're Batman and Robin," Kelso began, looking at himself and then at Fez in his green, red, and yellow spandex. His eyes were also covered with the infamous black mask " if we're the dynamic duo, then who's Superman?" 

  


" Hyde isn't here to portray Superman, dumbass!" Fez exclaimed. 

  


" Then, where's Hyde?" Eric asked. 

  


" We're going to rescue him!" cried the foreigner.

  


" Fez that is not at all how that would happen." Eric said, now back in the basement. 

  


" How do you know, skinny boy?" Jackie asked. 

  


" Jackie, you were just happy because you got to have Wonder Woman's accessaries." said Donna. 

  


" I could so kick serious ass with those." the brunette replied, punching the air with her fists. 

  


" You know if Luke Skywalker were here, he would...." Eric began 

  


The five glared at him. 

  


" Let me have my fantasy, dammit!" he yelled 

  


" Eric, I'm Luke Skywalker!!!" Jackie yelled, pulling at her costume. 

  


" Foreman, you better have a damn good excuse for this!" Hyde shouted walking unto the Millennium Falcon dressed like Princess Leia with a headband with two braided buns on the side. Although, you could still see his frizzy, curls sticking out.

  


" Eric," Cat moaned " I am not Han Solo!" 

  


" Why am I always Chewbacca?" asked Kelso, taking off the furry head. 

  


" Shut-up, Chewy!" Cat ordered. 

  


Then, Fez and Donna walked out as R2-D2 and CP-30. " We are not freaking robots!" the redhead bolted. 

  


" I could have made you bad!" Eric said, taking off his white helmet as one of Darth Vadar's soldiers. 

  


" Then, who's Vadar?" Kelso asked. 

  


Just then, Darth Vadar steps out and takes his helmet off. The gang suddenly realizes it's Bud Hyde. 

  


" Why am I Luke Skywalker?" Jackie asked. 

  


" Well, you and Cat are like Han and Luke fighting for Leia more specifically Hyde." Eric explained. 

  


" Foreman, you make a better chick than I do!" the scruffy, hellion burned.

  


" Hey, when did you get here?" asked Fez, back in the circle. 

  


" Where the hell were you?" Donna asked. 

  


" Jail." he said dryly. 

  


" Again!" the five yelled. 

  


" You guys, don't get your panties in a twist. Hyde called me and I came and bailed him out." Cat explained. 

  


" Does Red know?" Eric ask him. 

  


" Steven. Better yet, do your parents know? They're still upstairs." Jackie replied. 

  


" I don't care if Bud and Edna know anything." he said gruffly. 

  


" Why did you call Cat instead of us?" Eric asked. 

  


" I knew if I called here that Red would find out. This way, he'll never find out unless the police call. I doubt they will considering I'm 18. I'm not a minor anymore, and they can't call my legal guardian without my permission. And I, sure as hell, didn't give it to them!" 

  


" Smart. Why did you get the cuffs? Wait, let me guess. You went to visit your old, pal Taylor." 

  


" Bingo." he said, pulling the bag out of his pocket. 

  


" You still have it!" Donna exclaimed. 

  


" Of course, you think I'm gonna spend seventy-five dollars, spend the afternoon in jail, listen to a biker thug cry on my shoulder because he's swears up and down he didn't kill his wife, and not get what I purchased! You must be off your rocker!" 

  


They all laughed. " That's our Hyde." Cat opined. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


" So Bud, you're starting a garage." Red said, taking a swig of his beer. 

  


Kitty, because his heart was doing so well, let him have a few. 

  


" Yeah, my brother Lester gave it to me after he went to prison. I don't know, something about paying his taxes in fake Jefferson's." 

  


" That's real....lovely Bud." Kitty replied, before sipping her fourth glass of wine. 

  


" I want Steven to work and help me get the business off the ground." 

  


" Steven has good hands and does all his own work on his car. He won't let a mechanic touch it, but I don't know how willing he'll be, Bud. He also has a job. He works as one of the chefs at the hotel downtown. He's actually real good at it. After Leo closed the Fotohut, he went to work for the hotel. He enjoys it." Red said. 

  


" I want to at least offer it to him. We can still hope." 

  


" I'm still glad that our boy has graduated high school. He's the first in both of our families to do so." Edna said. 

  


" He's got lots of potential. I think he's going to start with the other five at UW next fall. After Red had his heart attack, they decided to wait until the next fall semester so they could wait on Jackie and start school together. I think he's finally made the decision to go. He, after all, did get accepted." Kitty told them. 

  


" That's wonderful, Kitty. Although, I want to spend some time with him if he'll have me." Bud said. 

  


" If I'll have you, huh Dad." Hyde said as the seven walked into the living room where they were sitting. 

  


" The Foreman's told us about Wisconsin! That's so wonderful. Go Badgers!" Edna exclaimed. 

  


" Edna, you don't want to get me started." he said harshly. 

Eric winced. Hyde had been calling his mother Edna since he was thirteen years old. Eric had never understood. When they were younger, he had just thought it was cool, but now, it scared him. Hyde had never had a true relationship with his parents, and it bothered them. 

  


" Son, don't talk to your mother like that." 

  


" How dare you! How dare you say that to me! Edna's my mother? That's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard. Do you want to know who I consider my mother," he pointed to Kitty " this woman right here is who I consider my mother. Ever since I was a little kid, she baked me cookies, knitted me sweaters, and gave me advice. She did all the maternal things I could ever dream my real mother would do. She even taught me how to dance! I have so much respect for her. She's a nurse, she's a wife, and she's a mother. She's been welcoming me into this home ever since the first grade. Bud, never ever tell me any other woman is my mother other than her. She's isn't by blood, but that doesn't really matter much to me anymore." 

  


Kitty began to cry. It wasn't a crying spell caused by menopause, but she was truly moved. " Oh Steven, that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard!" 

  


" Man, that was like totally nice of you." Eric said. 

  


" Steven, that was so sweet." Jackie said, reaching up and kissing his cheek. 

  


" Thanks, Jacks." 

  


" Yeah Hyde," replied Cat wrapping her arms around him " you're such a big softy." 

  


He put his hands on her back " I am not." he answered dryly. 

  


" You are too you big, teddy bear." Donna said rubbing his hair. 

  


" Hyde said something nice! The apocalypse is nigh." Kelso chaffed. 

  


" I am not a teddy bear, and Kelso, I'll give you twenty bucks if you'll explain to me exactly what the words apocalypse and nigh mean," 

  


Kelso just stayed quiet. 

  


" That's what I thought." 

  


" I take it you don't want to help us with the garage." Bud replied. 

  


" What garage?" he asked. 

  


" You're Uncle Lester gave me his garage to fix up and get the business started again."

  


" Isn't Uncle Lester in prison?" 

  


" Yeah, but he isn't getting out anytime soon. So, I'm here for the time being." 

  


" You're actually staying! That's a laugh." 

  


" We plan to, yes. So, will you help with the garage. Red tells me you're a wonderful mechanic." 

  


" I suppose, but if you end up leaving again. Don't bother ever coming back." 

  


" Thank you for giving us another chance." 

  


" I'm not making any promises." 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


Night had fallen onto the town of Point Place. Red and Kitty had put up Bud and Edna in Laurie's room for the time being since she and Fez had bought a place across town. Eric had given Donna the 'signal', and she had come over earlier. Now, this gave him free reign of hers and Jackie's bedroom. He had walked over and climbed up the tree beside the window. He had become an expert tree climber thanks to Bob and Joanne locking the front and back doors every night. He hadn't been able to sleep a wink. Jackie lay in his arms practically knocked out, and he could even get in a good hour. 

  


" Jackie, wake up." he whispered. 

  


" Steven, go to sleep. I'm tired." she said drowsily laying her head on his chest. 

  


" Jackie, please." 

  


" Steven, not again. I'm tired. Maybe in the morning." 

  


" Not that you pervert. I need you to talk to me." 

  


" All you wanna do is talk! You don't wanna have sex with me?" she said springing up.

  


" I do, but that is beside the point." 

  


" No, it's not! You don't love me anymore. Our passion is gone." 

  


" There is nothing more in the world I would rather do than have my way with you, but right now, my mind is heavy-laden with thoughts. All I want is you to talk to me, and you're not doing that." 

  


" I'm sorry. I'm up. Speak your mind." she said, sitting up and crossing her legs Indian-style. 

  


" Do you think Bud and Edna are telling the truth? Do you really think that they'll stay?" he asked. 

  


" I don't know, but what I do know is that you're a very good person for letting them back in your life. I know you don't trust them, but trust me, they are still your parents. You know how they are, and if they leave again, they leave. You just have to not let it phase you like it has in the past. Go on with your life, and be who you are. Don't let yourself turn into your father. I know what it feels like to be parentless most of your life, and you have to be strong and be yourself." 

  


" Thanks." 

  


" Don't mention it. Now, can we please go to sleep?" 

  


" I don't know, I think we should try and bring the passion back in our relationship." he said smirking

  


" Now, who's the pervert?" she said kissing him softly. 

  


" I am not a pervert. I am just simply a man who has a completely natural sexual drive." 

  


" Don't forget to add overactive to that list of adjectives." 

  


" You're the one that said I didn't want to have sex." 

  


" You're the one that has another girlfriend to have sex with. Who knows? You might have overdone yourself today." 

  


" Jacks, you know that's not true." 

  


" How do I?" 

  


" I promise. You are the only one I have touched ever since we got back together. Sure, I've kissed her, but not full on either! I haven't so much used my tongue in her mouth let along anywhere else." 

  


" Funny. I have put up with her for long enough. I have been great about it, but I can't help it that I have this little voice inside my head that's saying you're being unfaithful. It's almost like you're cheating on me all over again." 

  


" Baby, I promise that I'm not unfaithful." 

  


" Break up with her. If you really want to be with me, break up with her." 

  


" Consider it done. First thing in the morning." 

  


" Thank you. Now, are you going to put that drive into practice?" 

  


" Consider me a Trans Am." 

  


" Fast and Dangerous? Hmm, I like that." she said while he kissed her neck. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


Sorry it took so long to put out this chapter. It, like some of the others, did not want to be written. I wrote it four different times before posting it. Thank you all for your support. This story though is drawing to a close. This next one, however, will not be the last chapter, but I do believe there will be maybe three possibly four more chapters. Unfortunately, Cat will play a dominant part in the next chapter so be prepared. Although, it won't be her last. *Evilly grins* If you are wondering, Waiting for the man is double entendre in this chapter. Did you catch it? Peace Out

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	9. Every Picture Tells A Story

The sunlight crept through the window of Donna Pinciotti and Jackie Burkhardt's bedroom. Jackie laid in bed wrapped up in the arms of Steven Hyde. This had been a trend lately. That is, waking up in Donna's bed together. Although, this morning was somewhat different. Hyde had not been able to sleep that night. So, naturally, he kept Jackie up as well. They finally fell asleep at around three, and had been sleeping ever since. It was almost eleven o'clock when Donna and Eric went up to the bedroom to find the couple, dead to the world in slumber. They could see Hyde's bare chest move up in down with each breath. It was inhabited by Jackie's array of dark brown curls and her beautiful face. Eric gawked at the sight. 

  


" Donna! Think of what those two have been doing in your bed all night!" he exclaimed. 

  


" Didn't need that mental image, babe." the redhead replied. 

  


The two saw Jackie's eyes flutter lightly. She was waking up. 

  


" Steven?" the brunette whispered heavily. 

  


They then saw their scruffy friend arise from his flat position to a more inverted one. He leaned his head against the head board with a mask of sleep still covering his face and eyes. The tiny girl that lay next to him did this also by laying her head backwards onto his chest. The sheet, blanket, and duvet still covering their bodies. They still hadn't noticed their engaged friend's presence. 

  


" What time is it?" Hyde asked. 

  


She leaned over looking at the clock that stood on Donna's night stand. 

  


" Eleven o' three. We have to get up before Donna," she stopped mid-sentence looking at the two who were smirking at her " . . . comes home." 

  


" You better be glad it was us instead of Bob and Joanne. Joanne would kick Hyde's ass all the way to the Michigan border. Clothes or no clothes." Donna replied crossing her arms over her chest. 

  


Eric leaned over pulling up Jackie's risque underwear by one finger, twirled them around, and smirked at his friend. 

  


" You are one lucky bastard!" he cursed. Hyde smiled. 

  


" Put those down you freak! Donna, punish him!" Jackie exclaimed, sitting up and covering herself with the bedspread. 

  


Donna gave him the 'you're not getting any for a week' look that she was famous for. 

  


" Yes, ma'am," Eric muttered guiltily. 

Jackie and Hyde laughed at him. 

  


" Why do you always take pleasure in my defeat?" 

  


" I have my woman. I don't take sick pleasure in playing with Donna's underwear, now do I?" Hyde said logically. 

  


" Correction, Hyde. You have two women." Donna reminded him. 

  


" Don't fret, Big D. By about . . . oh I'd say . . . one thirty-five this afternoon, I will only have one woman whom I cherish." 

  


" And that best be me or you'll never ever see those frilly, pink panties again. Got me!" she threatened with a big, toothy grin. 

  


" Of course, darling. Is there anyone else besides you?" 

  


" Do the words 'Meow, Meow' come to mind?" Eric replied, smugly and dripping with sarcasm like always. 

" Get bent, Foreman." he replied gruffly.

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


The scent of baking garlic bread and rich marinara sauce filled the Foreman kitchen. Kitty was making spaghetti for lunch as Bud and Red sat at the table drinking beer and reading the paper while Edna was engulfed in Cosmo. She was informing herself about the new, fall colors. It was all about brilliant reds, cool oranges, deep tans, and chocolate browns. Patchwork boots and shawls were very fashionable, and clogs, due to Farrah Fawcett's influence, were on their way out. Stacks were just so much more sensible. Also, she found herself reading '10 Ways to Please Your Man in Bed'. Like I need that, she thought. 

  


Then, as Edna was reading an interview with Cheryl Tiegs about her new Calvin Klein contract, Cat walked in the door looking for her MIA boyfriend. 

  


" Hey Catherine. Steven slept through breakfast, and I think he's down in his room still sawing logs." Kitty informed.

  


" That's all right," she held her nose up " Mmm . . . something smells wonderful, Mrs. Foreman." 

  


" It's spaghetti. Sit down. Have some lunch. I'm sure he'll be up soon. You now how Steven likes to sleep all day unless Saturday morning cartoons are on. Cat, you know he's a sucker for Scooby-Doo." 

  


" Yeah," she giggled and looked at Bud and Edna " I'm sorry. We haven't been formally introduced. I'm Catherine Peterson, but you can call me Cat." 

  


" Hi. I'm Edna Hyde and this is my husband Bud." she replied. 

  


" You're Hyde's parents! It's so nice to finally meet you." 

  


" It's nice to meet you too, dear. You sure are a pretty thing. Steven always had prime choice women. I suppose he inherited that from me." Bud flirted.

  


She giggled. " How did you know?" 

  


" Instinct. Plus, Kitty and Red were telling us about you. How long have you been dating now?" 

  


" A little over two months. He's a great guy when he wants to be. He can be a jackass now and then, but it's my job to straighten him out." 

  


Just as she spoke, the four, that is Hyde, Jackie, Eric, and Donna, walked into the kitchen. Jackie immediately dropped Hyde's hand at the sight of the blonde standing and chatting with his father. 

  


" I thought the Foreman's said you were still sleeping?" she asked. 

  


" I was. We went out for breakfast. We're planning a surprise birthday party for Kelso. He's such an idiot; he'll never find out as long as Fez doesn't spill." 

  


Zen was his lifesaver. Hyde felt satisfied with his legit excuse. Now that he thought about it. The party for Kelso didn't seem like a bad idea. 

  


" Why didn't you invite me?" 

  


" Uh, we didn't think you wanted to get up on Michael's account. We only did it because we've known him our whole lives. It only makes sense. I mean, he made me a woman." said Jackie. 

  


" Jacks, if we wanted to talk about your past sex life with Kelso, we'd just read about it on the Locker room wall!" Hyde snapped

  


" What?!" the petite, brunette exclaimed.

  


" Oh, it's there. Every single detail. Even about that time you went skinny dipping in the lake and Kelso took your . . ." Eric began. 

  


" Shut-up you malnourished freak!" 

  


" Running out of comebacks, Jackie?" Donna asked. 

  


" You and," she pointed at Donna and then to Hyde " you are supposed to be on my side!" 

  


" Whatever." he muttered, supposedly covering for himself. 

  


" Son, what are you guys planning on doing tonight?" Bud asked.

  


" I don't know. Maybe a party? Foreman?" Hyde said, looking at his best friend. 

  


" Felicia Presley is supposed to be having a blowout 'cause her parents are . . ." Kelso commented, but received a glare from the Foreman's " . . . Chaperoning the whole event?" 

  


He grinned and Red just shook his head. 

  


" We were gonna go to that party! Ever since Nina left me and Laurie refuses to sleep with me again, I needed some whore action!" Fez whined. 

  


" Man, we don't need to hear anything else about your needs or lack of action." Kelso ordered.

  


" I was thinking about going to Milwaukee." Bud said. 

  


" Why?" Donna asked.

  


" Because I have six tickets to see Aerosmith on the fourth row, center." he said waving the prize in front of their faces. 

  


" Holy shit!" Hyde exclaimed grabbing them from his hands. The five teenagers looked at them with awe as if they had found the Sangraal. 

  


" Steven.." Red threatened 

  


" Yeah, Yeah. Watch my mouth." 

  


" Where did you get these, Mr. Hyde?" Cat inquired. 

  


" That's for me to know, and you to never find out. Just enjoy them for what they are." 

  


" Houston, I think we've got a problem." Eric exclaimed. 

  


" What are you whining for now, Eric?" the red-head queried. 

  


" There's seven of us. You, me, Hyde, Jackie, Cat, Fez, and Kelso makes seven. There's six tickets. Who's out?" 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


The seven friends stood outside in the driveway later on that night. At this point, they were all enemies as far as anyone was concerned. Someone had to go. The original six wanted Cat gone. Cat wanted Jackie gone. Little did they know, someone else was gone too. 

  


" Kids," said Kitty anxiously " I don't wanna tell you this, but . . . ." 

  


" Tell us what Mrs. Foreman? Where's Bud and Edna?" asked Hyde. 

  


" I don't exactly know. They didn't say where they were going. Just read this." 

  


Kitty handed Hyde a stark, white envelope. It read 'Steven' in Bud's slanted, cursive scrawl. 

He gingerly ran his fingers through the pasted seal. Taking out the folded piece of paper, he knew what was to come. He folded the stationary that he assumed to be Edna's because it was dotted with multi-colored tea roses. He began to scan the page of the same scribble as on the front. 

  


Steven, 

I realize this has become a trend, and I'm sorry. I had done a job interview a couple of months ago with a trucking company because bar tending hadn't been bringing in much dough. I knew I was coming to Point Place when I did the interview so I left them the Foreman's phone number. They called and said I had been given the position, but the catch was I had to be in Chicago tomorrow. I had to go or they would give the position to another candidate. I had to go. The garage has been sold to someone else. Again, I'm sorry about leaving. I hope to see you soon. Have fun at the concert with your friends. 

Bye, Dad. 

  


" See you in fifteen years, Bud." he finally said after finishing the letter. 

  


" They left; Huh, man?" Eric asked. 

  


" Yeah. They're gone. Let's just go. Tyler and Perry wait for no man." 

  


" We're still going after that letter?" Donna asked.

  


" Are you kidding? The idiot pays God knows what for six Aerosmith tickets close enough to the stage that you could catch the sweat running off Steven Tyler's forehead in a vial and you think we're not going? Just for that I think you need to be the seventh man out!" Hyde snapped. 

  


" Who really is out, my curly-headed friend?" Fez asked. 

  


" I think we need to play eeny-meany-miney-moe." Kelso suggested. 

  


" No, you moron! Let's huddle," Eric exclaimed. 

  


The original four, Eric, Hyde, Kelso, and Donna, gathered together in their infamous circle and put their heads together leaving Jackie, Fez, and Cat out in the cold. 

  


" It's either Jackie or Cat." he whispered

  


" Kelso and I vote Cat, right Kelso?" Donna replied. 

  


" Right, man." he answered. 

  


" So, do you agree with us, Hyde?" Eric asked. 

  


" Yeah. She might kill me, but I agree." he responded. 

  


The four friends turned around to look at the remaining three. Cat started to speak. 

  


" You guys, I just realized that I have a paper due on Monday about the three branches of Government. I don't wanna put it off 'till Monday so you all just go without me." 

  


" Are you sure, Cat?" Hyde asked her. 

  


" Yeah. Can you take me home?" she asked hopping into the El Camino. 

  


" Sure." 

  


Before they drove off, Cat noticed a picture laying on the dash of the car leaning against the odometer. It was a picture Hyde and Jackie at Christmas. He had his hand around her waist and they were standing in the doorway of the kitchen under the mistletoe. The brunette was looking above smirking and he was rolling his eyes at the sight. Donna had taken the picture for her scrapbook. Cat just huffed, grabbed the picture folding it in half, and put it in the side pocket of her purse. He was gonna get it. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

  


The six arrived home from the concert on a definite high. It had been amazing. Hyde had been correct. They were in fact so close you could see the sweat dripping off their foreheads. Donna had been extremely excited because Joe Perry had thrown the scarf he was wearing out into the audience and she was the lucky girl who caught it. Eric had complained because they didn't play Toys in the Attic and waited until the last set to play Dream On. Kelso and Fez were freaked because they had been hit on by two hookers. Kelso begged Fez that they were a sure thing, but he refused because he stated that paying for sex was just as bad as not getting any at all. Jackie was scared as well because Hyde had given her a hemp choker for their anniversary, and a drug dealer hit her up for a joint. She assumed it was due to the large narcotize around her neck. Other than the prostitutes and the dealer, everything was great especially for Hyde. This chick made advances at him, and he said that he was here with his girlfriend. He was on cloud nine for the rest of the night. 

  


The said their farewells as Eric and Donna walked inside to get into bed and Kelso and Fez got into his Volkswagen to drive home. Jackie and Hyde stood around in the driveway. 

  


" Steven, I had a really good time tonight. When they played Walk This Way, I was totally feeling it. I think this was the first time I listened to that song and didn't get offended." 

  


" You of all people should not be offended by a song about sex. I mean, you aren't offended by Tiny Dancer." 

  


" That's what that songs about?" she exclaimed. 

  


" Jesus, Jackie," he said, shaking his head. " Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer. Count the headlights on the highway!" 

  


" Ugh! Steven, is this a ploy to get me in bed with you?" 

  


" Maybe." he said guiltily.

  


" Men are dogs." 

  


" Sometimes I think Freddy Mercury has the right idea. Except the part about hair gel and yellow, Spandex jumpsuits." he said shuddering. 

  


" Are you trying to tell me something, Hyde?" 

  


" Yeah, I'm tired. Let's got to bed." 

  


" To sleep." she added. 

  


" Jackie!" he whined. 

  


" You're not getting anything until Cat Woman is gone." 

  


" Women suck!"

  


" If you keep on like that, you're not even sleeping five feet near me!" 

  


" Ugh!!" he growled following her into the house. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*

  


This was a very transitional chapter. I promise the next chapter will be either the end or just the beginning of Cat, but the latter isn't going to be likely. Thanks for all of you support and tips with this story! I appreciate each and every one of you! Please r/r! Peace Out! 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	10. Signed, Sealed, Delivered

The tiny mall in Point Place, Wisconsin, was always inhabited by people of all different shapes, sizes, and colors. It was filled with shops with leisure suits, platform shoes, and velvet posters lined the windows of each one. The speakers from the ceiling played basically elevator music with the exception of a few Chicago tunes, Motown, and California Dreamin' about every other song. The only store that seemed different, mostly because of its distinct smell, was The Cheese Palace, and it's number one cheese maiden was outside the store, dressed like she was an extra in the movie Heidi, desperately trying to entice the public into buying an array of different cheeses. 

  


" Everything's better with cheddar," Jackie replied, smiling at the public, in a corny rhyme " with Swiss, you just can't miss!" 

  


At the same time, Hyde and some old lady who wanted to sample the Gouda walked up to her. The woman, who began to taste each little cube one by one, tried to depict the different flavors while Hyde snuck behind his girlfriend and began to kiss and suck on her neck all while the fifty-something hag savored the mallow. 

  


" Steven, I'm working." she said through her giggles. 

  


" So what? It's just cheese." 

  


" Just because you can't appreciate Wisconsin in all it's dairy product producing glory doesn't mean others don't." she dead panned. 

  


" Whatever. So, how goes my little cheese maiden today?"

  


"Pretty good. I aced my Physics quiz! At cheerleader practice this afternoon, Heather Marx attempted a round off, back handspring and fell right on her ass! It was hilarious. And Todd even gave me a $1.30 raise. I've been working here way too long, and dammit, I deserve a raise."

  


" So, all in all you had a good day?" 

  


" Basically. It's even better now that you're here. How was your day?" she asked. 

  


" Okay. I watched the Price Is Right this morning. Some retired Veteran got $1 twice on the big wheel. He got $10,000 and won a Trans Am! What old guy needs a Trans Am? Plus, he won that Hole-In-One game! You know the one that Bob Barker always hits the ball in on the first try! The guy predicts that a tube of Colgate is $1.07, and what does he get? A Trans Am! Kelso can tell you what the price of a tube of toothpaste is!" Hyde complained, doing some wild hand movements

  


She rolled her eyes " Anything else interesting happen?" 

  


" Foreman gave Kelso this really awesome burn, Red called me dumbass and made me clean up the garage, and we could hear Fez and Laurie upstairs 'getting acquainted'. Man, those two are like freaking rabbits!" 

  


" I thought Fez said Laurie still refused to give him any after that night in Michael's van?" 

  


" Go figure, but you know Laurie is easy. Once a whore always a whore, I always say." 

  


Jackie giggled. The woman, who was still sampling cheese, seemed to be listening in on their conversation. 

  


" Can I help you?" Jackie asked, slightly irritated. 

  


" Can I purchase a half a pound of Colby?" 

  


" Madam, I just give out cheese on toothpicks. I don't work the cash register. I would ask the cashier inside the store." Jackie exclaimed arrogantly, giving her a toothy grin. 

  


" I'll do that. By the way, your boss must be a real idiot to give you a raise." 

  


Jackie huffed and opened her mouth widely in shock of the comment. " Bitch." she muttered. 

  


Hyde just laughed. " Don't get all worked up over nothing." 

  


" Over what?" 

  


" That's my girl." he replied, giving her a soft kiss on the mouth. 

  


" Hyde!" a voice shrieked during their kiss. 

  


He lifted his head in search of the body that matched the voice that yelled his name. He saw Cat burning rubber while coming towards them. Great, he thought, just what I needed. Then, out of the corner of his eye. He saw his four friends walking near them as well. 

  


" Busted!" he heard Eric yell. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


" I get it! All those times you were working, sitting in the basement, or going out with the guys you weren't exactly doing that were you? You were sneaking around behind my back going to see her!" Cat, ranted as the seven arrived in the basement. 

  


" Not exactly." he said feigning innocence while looking down in order to dodge her glare. 

  


" Whatever! You have pictures of her all in your room and I found this one in your car," she grabbed the Christmas photo from her purse and showed it to him " what do you say to that?" 

  


" I say that this is mine!" he exclaimed snatching the picture from her hand and shoving it in his back pocket. 

  


" Steven, you have pictures of me in your room? How sweet is that?!" Jackie replied, fluttering her long, dark, eye lashes, and still was dressed from work in her little, Dutch schoolgirl outfit including the matching wooden shoes. 

  


" Shut-up, Barbie!" Cat snapped. 

  


" Who are you calling Barbie? I believe I'm short and brunette not tall, blonde, and filled with silicon like someone we know!" 

  


" Burn!" Kelso yelled. 

  


" Well, at least I'm pretty. Hyde's the only decent looking one in this group. You're a smurf, Donna looks like a lumberjack, if it weren't for Pam Macy and half the cheerleading squad, I'd really be questioning Kelso's sexuality because he's just so pretty, Eric is a cross between Mick Jagger and Ringo Starr, and foreign freak looks like the disc jockey from Soul Train and talks like Mushmouth from Fat Albert!" 

  


" Well, at least I'm not hairier than the forest goblin on H.R Puffnstuff.!" Fez yelled, referring to Hyde. 

  


" Yeah, hey Hall! Oates called. He wants his Gerry curl back!" Eric whined, still feeling his nose wondering if he really did look like Ringo Starr. 

  


" Foreman, are you really comparing me to the bisexuals known as Hall and Oates who sing 'Sara Smile'? Plus, I like H.R Puffnstuff." 

  


" Hyde, the only reason why you like H.R Puffnstuff is because they really are puffing stuff," Donna reasoned " and by the way, Jackie is the only one who can call me a lumberjack, got it?" 

  


" Hey, Hey, Hey it's Fat Albert!" Cat exclaimed sarcastically. 

  


" Are you calling me fat, Silicon Boobs? Remember, I am a lumberjack after all." the redhead replied, smirking. 

  


" I believe I am, Thunder Thighs." she countered. 

  


Donna gasped. Kelso was still trying to figure out Cat's earlier insult because he was after all very pretty, Eric was still contemplating whether or not he had a big nose, and Fez was looking to Batman and Robin on his two shoulders looking for advice on whether or not he should insult Hyde again and risk getting his ass kicked or keeping his mouth shut. For Kelso, the lightbulb in his brain had officially been lit. Sometimes the gang thought Kelso had a mouse spinning a wheel inside his head rather than a full functioning brain. 

  


" I am not gay! Just because I have bitchin' cheekbones does not mean I'm queer. Fez is the one that had the homo, erotic, sponge bath dream not me!" Kelso cried. 

  


" We agreed that it was because I ate the cheese balls off the floor you son of a bitch!" Fez exclaimed. 

  


" And about that thing with the cheerleaders, Just because I get a little action does not mean I'm all Tantric like Hyde and Jackie . . ." he stopped when he realized what he had just said " Uh-oh." 

  


" Kelso!" Eric exclaimed punching him in the arm. 

  


" Damn, Eric! I didn't mean to!" he exclaimed rubbing his sore spot. 

  


At this time, they were quiet. Hyde knew he was busted, and Cat knew he was cheating on her. Kelso looked guilty for spilling his friends secret. He thought back to when he, Jackie, and the rest of the gang were going to Jackie's ski cabin for the weekend. He had made-out with Pam Macy behind the gym. He asked the gang to guess who had just made out with her. Hyde sarcastically responded, "Anyone with a quarter?" Jackie found out, they broke up, but eventually got back together when he 'heroically traveled' in the dead of winter to win her hand once more. He even got a good souvenir from that weekend. A cap that read 'Trucker Driver's Make Good Lovers'. He was such a nice guy! 

  


" I knew it," Cat responded, disgusted " I had this sharp feeling in the pit of my stomach that you were, but I decided to give you the benefit of the doubt. I should have listened to my instinct." 

  


" We're over, right?" he asked, knowingly. 

  


" Oh, yeah. We're over. Done. Finished. Go back to your little brunette Barbie doll." 

  


" I will." 

  


" You act like you're happy?" she asked unnerved. 

  


" You know what? I think I am." 

  


He looked over at Jackie and smiled. A sign of relief engulfed his features. He was truly happy. 

The brunette's cheeks turned a bright shade of crimson. He never looked at her like that in front of anyone. He had always said, 'I've got a reputation to uphold.' The four friends looked at them in complete awe. Hyde was definitely turning into Eric. Cat grabbed her purse from the nearby lawn chair, huffed, and retreated from the basement bursting with anger. 

  


" Steven, that was so incredibly sweet!" Jackie exclaimed wrapping her arms around his neck. 

  


" It was not." he muttered stoical. 

  


" It was too!" 

  


" It was not. I am not sweet." he retorted. 

  


" Aww, our little Hyde is growing up. There is a heart in there somewhere!" Donna chaffed in a baby-like voice. 

  


" Shut-up." he ordered. 

  


" We know you're getting all soft on us. What happened to the Hyde we know and love? I can't be the one responsible for all our naughty adventures simply due to the fact that I always get caught, or either Kelso has a slip of the tongue. And let's face it, we simply cannot let that happen! What happened to naughty, bad fun? We need masochism, man!" Eric ranted. 

  


" Calm down, Erica! Just because I have a soft side doesn't necessarily mean that the bad side's gone. It's still here, and will come back to visit you real soon." Hyde countered and smirked. 

  


" And speaking of welcoming back the bad side, you wanna go act like Fez and Laurie?" Jackies asked seductively. 

  


" I knew there was always a reason why I liked you so much!" he replied as she took his hand and they ran out of the basement. 

  


The four sat around in the basement with nothing to do as usual when Sonny and Cher ran out of the basement. It was as if nothing had changed. Kelso was saying something stupid about his new neighbor's Cocker Spaniel's litter of puppies, and licking the grape juice that ran down his wooden popsicle stick, Fez was whining incessantly about Laurie or how the new employee at the candy store at the mall refused to give him extra caramels or a second bag of Pop Rocks like the old manager did simply because he was their best customer, Eric was saying something sarcastic or about Red making him 'buckle down', and Donna was hitting Eric in the arm because of his sarcastic remark that Eric had no clue as to why she hit him or why she was making him sleep in his own bed tonight. In other words, all was well in Point Place, Wisconsin, in Eric Foreman's basement with none other than Eric Foreman, Steven Hyde, Donna Pinciotti, Jackie Burkhardt, Michael Kelso, and their foreign friend, Fez. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  


" Thank you." Hyde said to the brunette beauty next to him. 

  


" For what?" she asked. 

  


" For forgiving me. For seeing the best in me. For telling me I had potential when no one else would. I kinda knew it all along, but no one ever really told me that I did until you happened. No matter how much I hate game shows, I thank Bob Barker every day, but now that I think about it; 

That big wheel brainwashed me." 

  


She giggled and removed her head from the pink pillowcase and laid it on his chest, snuggling close to him. 

  


" You're welcome. You really do, you know. And not just because I love you either!" 

  


" I know, and I love you too." 

  


" Steven, I knew it!" she squealed " You do love me!"

  


" Yeah, Yeah." he grumbled. 

  


" Say it again." 

  


" No!" 

  


" Again!" 

  


" No."

  


" Steven, say it again!" 

  


" I love you." he said almost inaudible. 

  


" I can't hear you?" she exclaimed 

  


" Fine! I love you! Are you happy?!" he cried. 

  


" Ecstatic." 

  


" You're turning me into Foreman." 

  


" Good." she stated smugly. 

  


" You know this summer? When you were in Acapulco with your Mom, and I was dating Cat here in Point Place?" he asked. 

  


" You sure do know how to ruin the mood." she replied irritated at the mention of that name. 

  


" Just listen. Not once did you send me a post card, letter, telegram, or anything!" 

  


" When I said, 'if I could run down the beach into my own arms, I would' I meant it. No offense. I was angry. I needed some time to work things out, and when I got a good tan, drank one too many Tequila Sunrises, and one a couple of wet tee shirt contests. I realized that I didn't need to be alone, I didn't need to be by myself all the time, what I really needed was you." 

  


" I would've accepted the one's that say Wish You Were Here on them!" 

  


" Steven, all that really matters is that I'm here now." 

  


With that, They captured each other's lips, drifting into another night of lovemaking that only this time wouldn't be a secret and didn't have to wish for anything anymore. Especially each other. 

  


*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

  


That It Is! The End. Finito! Absolute zero! Of course there is always the option of an epilogue, but that doesn't look likely! I am so thankful for all of you out there in FF land that reviewed my story. You are all very special to me! Special thanks to PixiePunk, Kashmir, Jaded Angel, Jaded, Starlight 77, Holycitygirl, Candy 07, Fireflower, and TinyDancer1! You guys reviewed every chapter. I give you major kudos, and I also give kudos to those who came darn close. I am currently working on a new piece, and I hope you all review just as faithfully as you did with this one. I can't forget to thank Marvin Gaye, Aerosmith, Todd Rundgren, U2, Led Zeppelin, Ted Nugent, The Eagles, David Bowie, Rod Stewart, Simon and Garfunkel, Elton John, and of course Pink Floyd for all my stolen titles and musical references. I also name dropped The Carpenters , Blue Oyster Cult, the Momma's and The Poppa's, Chicago, Jethro Tull, Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles , Queen, The Rolling Stones, Billy Joel, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Sonny and Cher, and The Grateful Dead so thank you as well. If I named any other ridiculously famous musical visionaries, I thank too! I also did a little name dropping for the beautiful Farrah Fawcett, Cheryl Tiegs, Burt Reynolds, Jacklyn Smith, and television shows such as Saturday Night Live, The Brady Bunch, Petticoat Junction, Fat Albert, H.R. Puffnstuff, Rich Man- Poor Man, and the Price is Right. Let's not forget movies such as Star Wars, Smokey and The Bandit, Grease, The Omen, and a little tiny reference to Rebel Without a Cause. Read carefully because you just might miss it. I'd also like to thank all the good folks at Carsey-Werner. They make it all worth wild. No copyright infringement necessary for all of the lines and titles I've stolen from classic seventies entertainment. Who else can I thank? The Academy? Just kidding. In the words of Sally Field, " You like me! You really, really like me!" Ha-ha. Peace Out! 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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